When I Was Younger
by Ereka Rayne
Summary: Dark secrets constantly plague Roxas' mind and haunt his dreams, and he has no plans on telling them to anyone-not even to the one he's closest to. Axel befriends Roxas and decides to pry, but he's not living a charmed life himself. AxelRoxas. REVISING!
1. How About a Nice Hot Cup of STFU?

**Chapter One: How About A Nice Hot Cup of STFU?**

**REVISED VERSION, REVISED NOVEMBER 2010**

**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Square Enix. I have neither legal control over nor claim to own any of the copyrighted items mentioned herein. Any of the events occurring in this story are fictional or extremely loosely based on real events.

**Warning: **This story is rated M for a reason. It will include strong language, violence, sexuality, as well as domestic violence in the form of sexual, mental and physical abuse.

**Note: I'd like you to read this note, please. For me, for yourself, and for all of the people who have suffered abuse.**

**I want to make something very, very clear to all of you: I do NOT condone abuse of any kind, nor do I like it or think it is a matter to be taken lightly.**

**I'm not pulling any punches with this story.**

**My goal with ****When I Was Younger**** is to NOT write a story that falls in with the masses of fanfiction where A, one of the characters is abused, meets "the one", and within a few days (or even just one) rapidly falls in love with "The One" or trusts them and then has sex with the person or whatever they please, living happily ever after, the abuse victim's past and the need for healing be damned for the sake of smut and fandom. **

**Or, B, the other popular method I've noticed: due to some unexplainable lapse in mental sanity, the abused character immediately, or very quickly falls in love or lusts after someone who rapes or harms them, proceeds to have their brains fucked out, then lives happily ever after, addled by a twisted version of the Stockholm Syndrome. **

**We've all read stories like these, kids, and let's face it: **_**options A and B never happen**_**, except, perhaps, in badly-written stories (…). There is no magical, instant one-day (nor one week nor one month for that matter) cure to the damage and scars that abuse of any form leaves on a person either mentally and/or physically, nor does this damage done truly ever heal. Even worse, some people may never recover, and even more sadly, some go on to repeat the horrific cycle. (****About 30% of abused and neglected children ****_will later abuse their own children_****, childhelp. org.)**** If anything, it takes TIME in large amounts to fix things, and as we all know that doesn't just pertain to abuse. Not only does it take time, but the healing process requires safe, if not positive things, outlets, and room to grow. **

**As I said, abuse is NOT a matter to be taken lightly. It comes in many forms and methods, some of which many of us overlook or blow off because they "don't seem like abuse", accepted or ignored by society. But no matter the severity, it is STILL abuse. **

**I want people to understand that the world does not consist of sunshine and daisies and that disgusting things like abuse aren't light matters. I would rate the abuse in this story a five on a 1-10 scale with eight being the events from ****A Child Called It**** (a wonderfully heartbreaking and simultaneously horrifyingly awakening autobiography by Dave Pelzer, read it.). I'm not looking to extremely horrify nor am I going for a disgustingly graphic fic. I'm not looking to write something with just shock value, I want substance as well. ****When I Was Younger****'s aim is not that, I just want to make it feasible and realistic. **

**That's what I'm hoping to convey realistically in this story. Roxas and Axel are the victims of abuse—one of past domestic abuse, the other of ongoing domestic abuse. YES, they were abused, but eventually the healing process will begin. I just want to show that the characters can learn to trust and love, to forgive and move on, and that romance and healthy relationships can occur after something as horrible as what they had to go through.**

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**That happiness and humor can still be a part of a life affected by despicable hands. That innocence isn't truly lost—and life can still be loved.**

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**Author's Note: **I hereby baptize When I Was Younger and my other story Is My Perscription Ready? (but mostly WIWY) with the informal nickname "Reincarnation 1.5". 1.5 because I believe, even when I (hopefully) become a published author that I'll never truly be satisfied with the state of my stories because there is always room for improvement. Reincarnation because of the changes and growth I periodically go through as both a person and writer, reincarnation for how that growth and change affects my writing style, reincarnation for how I re-wrote this, reincarnation for how mainly Roxas and other characters go through changes. It's a repeating, unpredictable cycle, but it's there. I'm sure I'll edit more as I yet again go through a "reincarnation". And now I'll quit the psycho-babble and let you read.

**I sincerely hope you enjoy! (No, I'm not at all sorry everything above is so long. ;) ) And now, on to the fic! Don't forget to review, please.**

_.oooooo._

It has been exactly seven years since I last saw that man, and I hope to never see his face again. Oh, I remember how it began, all right…how could I forget? As a potential candidate for a new father at first he was fascinating, kind, and fun—everything a fatherless little boy could want in the father figure he lacked. After months of courting my mother and spending lots of bonding time with me doing things that a stereotypical father figure did with their son, like teaching me how to play baseball and taking me fishing, playing Soldier and Cops and Robbers and Hide and Seek, he finally married my mother. Almost immediately he transformed into a manipulative, controlling, and worst of all abusive monster. The only positive thing he can be credited for is bringing my step-brother into my life.

My mother was a kind and wonderful woman who loved me sincerely, and grew to quickly love her new step-son as well. She tried to make things better for my sake, as well as his: marriage counselors for Mom and that monster, group therapy for the whole of us. Mom wanted to attempt the impossible and change her husband back to the way he was in the beginning for mainly me, but it was obvious her desire would only be just that: a desire. I know that all she wanted was for me to have that positive father figure I so desperately craved and that she so desperately desired for her son, but she really should have just ended it.

Sora was lucky. Mom let him move in with his friend Riku after a particularly horrid night of drunken abuse. She tried to force me to go, too—but I refused. How could I, when it was my fault that he was still around, anyways? That man had been screaming at Mother, pushing her around, and Mom had told Sora and I to _get out of here right now. _I, however, stayed; I couldn't bear to see my mother left alone in our house like that, especially since I knew the cause was me. I didn't want Sora to be hurt either, and I convinced him to leave and get to safety. I'd screamed at that man to divert his attention from my mother and he hit me across my face until I passed out.

That was the first time he'd ever laid a hand on me and I knew that it was only the beginning of many episodes of his abuse. Sora was an angel, he truly was. He would never back talked to that man, the prime image of obedience and submissiveness, but it was because of how purely kind and sensitive Sora was, and of course there was the fact that he was Sora's father. That man liked those aspects about Sora, he never did to my brother what he did to _me_, but I was glad, because I didn't want Sora to be hurt…he didn't deserve it one bit. Me? I was the exact opposite of Sora: I was stubborn and aggravatingly witty; full of clever retorts and as much defiance as an seven-year-old could muster. He didn't like that at all; he wanted to be in power, and his white-hot anger knew no control when there was nobody with authority around.

That man hit me with whatever he could find—spoons, branches, the classic belt, blitzballs, even his own hands and feet. Anything that could be improvised as a tool to express his anger without cutting or breaking my body, he would use. He never really beat Mom as he hit me, however. She never had bruises…he'd take out the brunt of his anger on me. He, however, seemed jealous that she cared for me so much, shielding me from his blows whenever she came across his awful abuse. Because of that, he seemed to be jealous of me, and she tried to never let him see when she was being affectionate to me, because we both knew that if he saw a display of affection shared between us there would be hell to play. He only wanted my mother to love him and Sora. Sora she did, but she loved that man in the sense that she wanted him mentally get better, which he never did.

I know that they "did it" too, and mom would be screaming in pain or sobbing in miserable melancholy. They did it as much as he liked, which wasn't often, he wasn't satisfied, but he never cheated. I knew what he did, as I quietly observed him—I had to, to have ammunition for when he picked fights with me, or to stay out of trouble.

It was as if he was only here to make our lives miserable and to toy with our minds and make us think he loved us, all for this sick game that only he knew how to play.

The pointless beatings and terrible abuse continued for two years. They episodes became so frequent that most of them melded together, but there are a few that I remember as clear as crystal. One of these happened one late afternoon, when mother denied his sexual advances. Angrily coming out of his bedroom, he caught me on my to the family room to recover a toy I'd left out. I remember most of what he'd said, and it had chilled me to the bone.

"_Your mother refused to share some… _alone…_ time with me because of you, you know that, Roxas? She always acts so strange when we're alone together, because of you. You're stealing her away from me, little boy, her and Sora too. You're so damn insolent and all you do after I spend my love, money, and time on you is spit on it. Well, it's time you pay your debts, isn't it? I want what you've stolen from me back, and if I can't get it from them, I might just get it from you."_

While I barely remember what happened that evening nor do I wish to, I know that it was very unpleasant and that it was the moment that his mental dam broke.

A few months after that incident, the tsunami waves finally came crashing down. I saw him cornering Mom, a knife in his hand. Alcohol inebriating him beyond reason, he was incoherently screaming at her about "his" pristine kitchen having ''shit all over the floor'': a few of recycled shopping bags, fallen to the ground from their place in the cabinet. Mom had slaved over the kitchen that day, while_ he_ lounged about on his computer.

I was nine and was faced with the sight of a madman cornering my defenseless mother with a _knife_, for god's sake I was frozen in fear, and the only thing I managed to do was watch in terrified horror as he drunkenly converged on my mom. Luckily he only slashed her slightly along the sternum with the blade before stumbling off in the other direction, probably passing out on the couch. My mother and I locked eyes and her expression was all I needed to snap me back into reality and action. I ran upstairs and called the police, then locked myself in my room, and in ten minutes it was over. The rest was a blur only permeated by events worth mentioning: He lost custody of Sora and since my mother had adopted Sora at marriage he was relinquished into her care, seeing that she was obviously a lot more mentally stable.

Fate was not so kind and decided that she wasn't done with tormenting my family. Five years passed since that fateful night, and Mom grew more mad with each passing day to the point of insanity. She's in the Radiant Garden Mental Institution, as a permanent inpatient.

I'm sixteen now and live just with Sora, who is the only family…the _person _from the aftermath that I'll need. No mother, step father, counselors, or therapy for me. To be quite honest with you—and I know this is probably going to make me sound like a cliché little emo kid—but no one knows the true extent of what _really_ happened to me and I like it that way. No one _needs_ to know. Yeah, don't even bother with that psychologist bullshit, either. I'm not in the mood to get my brain picked apart as I lay on a leather couch by someone who barely knows me, okay?

To sum it up for you, I am Roxas, the boy with no last name. Well that's what I go by, at least. Hell, some people make fun of me at school and say "Hey, Roxas With No Last Name!", but I could care the fuck less. They're just ignorant fools. The surname given to me was that bastards' and I will have nothing of it, and our mother's… Well, I prefer that the past stays the past.

Sora and I live together, and I love the kid to death, all aggravating optimism and naivety aside. Even though he's blood related to _that_ man, I could never see him as anything less then my best friend and brother. How could I be stupid enough, prejudiced enough to hate Sora for having half of his father's genes? You can't help what made you, and I can see past something as petty as that. Sora is my lifeline.

Well, there you have it. My life pretty much started from the day that horrid monster first hit me. Weird, huh? I can't really remember anything before that day, beside from a handful of floating memories. I only remember some events that occurred before that bastard came, and they're both good and bad memories that are usually something big, like my birthday. Even some of the stuff that happened after is a bit blurry. What do you call that? Suppressed memories caused by trauma or something along that line? I don't know, I'm not a damn psychologist. However, I'm kind of thankful for it—as I've said before, I don't really want to remember.

Lately, though, things have been coming back into my mind. They're floating right on in without permission at the most random moments, and some of the things, the flashbacks I see… they're downright bloodcurdling. They scare me to death because they actually might have happened. However, the part that terrifies me to the core has nothing to do with the contents of those flashbacks. What really freaks me out is that Sora is beginning to pry.

And if you've ever met Sora, you know I'm not overstating things when I say that he's stubborn.

* * *

"Get up, you lazy-head! At the rate you snail around at, we'll be lucky if we make it to the bus stop by third period~!" My brother's voice just piled on the annoying as he called to me in a screeching, extremely off-tune falsetto from behind the safety of my door. I groaned and tossed the pillow cushioning my head blindly at the general area Sora's voice was coming from. A dull thump and the resulting giggle quickly issued from that direction and I rolled over in irritation, now sincerely missing my lovely pillow that I'd turned into a pathetic projectile, no longer under my head.

_Dear pillow, I miss you dearly, and I'm sorry things between turned out so badly between us. Come back to me? Love, Roxas._

"Shaddup," I grumbled, but of course Sora had disappeared by now and didn't hear. God, I hate school mornings. Hell, I hate any morning that begins for me before ten o'clock. I squeezed my comforter around me more tightly. I don't want to leeeave….oh, warm bed, I love you...eh, but I really can't afford to skip. After all, it's the first day back from winter break, and I know that if I don't get out of bed now, I won't until summer hits. Would you, if your room felt like an ice death trap? It had to be probably negative ten degrees out there…_why_? Twilight Town is famous for being such a melting pot of cultures, shops, and people, but why did it have to have such a wide range of temperatures too? Seriously, Mother Nature goes _all out_ for each season here. Spring, and its all saplings popping out of melting snow, flowers sprouting up quicker then bunnies in a briar patch can churn out babies, and cute little baby animals popping their heads out of burrow holes. Summer, and the average temperature is a toasty ninety, minus the picturesque beach and the cooling breeze that accompanies that lovely image. With fall comes shedding trees and endless piles of orange and brown leaves, and winter equals snow, snow, and more snow, and the average temperature? This winter's is zero degrees Fahrenheit. The highest temperature of the winter months has been thirty, and the lowest has been negative twenty degrees. Por que. Heck, at least we have this roof over our heads. I really shouldn't bitch, seeing as I've got it luxuriously compared to other people.

I bet you're wondering _how_ I have a roof over my head, if you remembered that bit about me not having any mothers, fathers, and the like. I guess I should have been a bit more clear about that. I don't have anyone like that LIVING in the same house as me or acting like the stereotypical parent, but of course, since I'm a minor, there has to be someone, right? I'm forever grateful to Riku's mom, who is the benefactor of housing, food, money, and other necessities for Sora and I. It's a weird setup, I know, but it works. I honestly wouldn't be able to imagine life in a homeless shelter or orphanage, or being stuck in the foster home system for that matter, because after all I know that those options would eventually separate me from Sora and I won't let that happen.

Riku's mom and my mom worked it out so that when Mom had gotten divorced to _him_, Riku's mom became our guardian, just in case. She never plays the act of your typical sitcom mother unless we need it. She gives us a monthly allowance for the things we need and pays the house mortgage and bills—Riku's mother is not only very kind and charitable, but a very rich and powerful woman in the business world, because honestly, how many sixteen year old boys have their own house, let alone someone who isn't blood related letting them live in it? The thing I love best about her is that she doesn't spoil us with excess amounts of money and wealth—she knows we're both sixteen-year-old boys, and we're just that. Riku's mom knows we're just good old fashioned working-class teenage boys at their finest, not silver-spoon fed aristocrats…so she doesn't spoil us rotten with a lifestyle that we don't need or really desire. Riku's mom told us that as long as we make great grades and stay out of trouble, she'd support us until we were fifty.

Riku doesn't treat us differently because we're his family's charity case, but as equals. Hell, he never mentions our living arrangements ever, and Sora and I both really appreciate it. He can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but deep down I know that bastard cares and worries about us just as much as his mother does—probably even more. He's Sora's best friend and is almost as close as I am to Sora. Odd how the two closest people to my brother have personalities so different…Ah, I digress.

My feet touched the floor and the fluffy carpet, without fail, greeted me with its inevitable chill. Stumbling to my closet, I stripped out of my pajama bottoms and boxers as quickly as I could and changed into my undergarments and outfit I'd picked out the night before. I'd decided upon black velvet skinny jeans, an incredibly warm long-sleeved shirt and a black-and-white checkered flannel hoodie. My softly worn blue scarf that matched my eyes completed the ensemble. I slipped my earmuffs around my neck and shoved my gloves into my pocket for safekeeping, in case Hell decided to take place in my town and fire and brimstone became snow and ice.

I had taken a bath the night before, so I was wonderfully clean; Sora, unlike myself, neglected to take a bath every day. Yeah, I know that washing your hair every day is a bad thing, and maybe it is girly and borderline OCD, but I can't stand _not_ being clean…all those germs, ugh! Even if I'm on the verge of passing out I have to clean my body in some way before I sleep. Not to mention, I have to brush my teeth. Gritty plaque rubbing against my lip and tongue? No sir.

Sora greeted me as I made my entrance from the abyss known as my room, and a genuine, goofy smile plastered on his face the moment he saw me. His painfully wide grin made a macabre thought of Glasgow Smiles flit through my head (Not a pretty picture, in case you were wondering), and it made my cheeks hurt. "He lives!" The brunet teased, lightly tapping my shoulder before skittering downstairs to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Seeing that much _happy_ in the morning is painful. Sora is a morning person, without a doubt. Me? I'm the one who ends up running the morning person over with a bulldozer… just kidding.

I came downstairs to a breakfast of toast with butter and jam, paopu nectar, and cereal. Sora always liked to busy himself with the motherly duties, and breakfast was one of his favorites. Despite popular belief, Sora _could_ cook pretty much anything except dinner. For some weird reason, anything that was a dinner dish he failed epically. Spaghetti resembled flamethrower-ified zombie guts and probably tasted as bad. We usually went to Riku's house for dinner or I cooked it, but if those two choices weren't options we usually pigged out on junk food, T.V. dinners, or whatever we could scavenge up. We're growing teenage boys, after all; leftovers at home were a rare sight and if they did exist, they probably weren't edible anymore. Ick…unless you're a messy teenage boy yourself, have lived with one, or are just extremely untidy yourself, you wouldn't get what I mean. But if you have: The horror of Unidentified Food Objects cheerfully sprouting molds, juices and odors that Shrek would have orgasmed looking at. (Ew, bad mental image right there.)

A sentimental smile crossed my face at the memory and Sora's face mirrored mine almost perfectly before he brightened up again and continued being the bouncy ray of sunshine he was. Although we aren't related by blood, we know each other so well it's as if we can understand how each other's thoughts, that whole 'twin' thing. I can finish his sentences when I'm in a good enough mood, and Sora can finish mine—I rarely bother to, 'cause to me it's kinda a parlor trick, something that was cool when we were little but now just extraneous and to "wow". On the other hand, Sora loves doing it to me…mostly to piss me off. Twinchronicity, I liked to call this phenomenon. Because of this, everyone thinks we're twins, and our looks help with that. Although Sora is brunet, freckled, and slightly tan and I blond and the color of cream, we had shockingly similar features—the most prominent being our eyes, which were the same shade of electric blue. We roll with it—we don't like being called step brothers and calling ourselves "twins" just makes things so much easier.

"C'mon, eat," Sora encouraged me, his mouth already stuffed full. I rolled my eyes as a few crumbs spewed from his stuffed mouth. It's like he's in a Chubby Bunny contest…with himself, trying to see how much he can stuff down his throat with every swallow.

"Mind your manners," I reminded with a small smirk. I wolfed my breakfast down elegantly, mind you. I liked my toast hard with a soft center, and squishy with butter throughout. Not soggy, _squishy_. Things dripping in butter are gross.

I wiped off the last crumb and wandered off to the bathroom, the first to finish my breakfast. As first to the bathroom to brush my teeth and style my hair, I knew that I'd return to Sora finishing up second helpings of everything. Did I mention he was a gluttonous little pig? The food had to go into some sort of alternate dimension; if any normal person ate that much in one sitting they'd have exploded by now.

The clock read six twenty two A.M. and our bus could get to the stop anywhere between six twenty five and six thirty five, but it usually came at the latter time.

"And I'm the one going to make us late?" Grabbing my messenger bag, I pulled the gloves onto my hands and placed the ear muffs around my neck. Scooping a handful of water, I splashed my face, and a small gasp jerked itself from my throat. The sink water was so cold it almost felt like it was burning my fingers and that was a telltale sign of a freezing night and a no doubt frigid world outside, to put it mildly.

"Coming, coming!" Sora cried out, frantic as he rushed past me to the sink, crumbs crusted around his face like a weird mustache. I couldn't help but chuckle. What an idiot... I love the kid.

* * *

We made it to the bus stop and only had to wait a heavenly five minutes, thank Hyne. Thirty-four minutes, some mild congestion on the highway, twenty-someodd kids later and we finally made it to our school. It was as if we'd never left on a three week break to start with, everyone falling back into the flow without missing a beat. The students around us were abrim with stories of gossip and the adventures of winter vacation, groups of friends reunited, there's ample amounts of bitching and moaning about having to be up so early. It felt good to be back in the place every kid shares a mutual love-hate relationship with.

Sora scanned the courtyard of our school, no doubt looking for his friends. "Um, so…yeah…" He trailed off, highly distracted, before his eyes widened and his voice grew excited. "I'll see you later Roxas!" Sora rushed off like a five year old on a sugar high to join Riku and their lady friend Kairi, who was waving at him from a bench by the cafeteria.

I gazed around the open courtyard, looking for one of my own friends. It's hard, when you're short as I am. "Hey, Roxas! Over here!" A girl's voice called, and I turned in the direction of the voice to find my friend Olette smiling sweetly at me.

Relieved, I started over in Olette's direction, contemplating her. There was something off about her appearance, but what was it…? There was nothing new about her taste in attire, she hadn't tanned, and her face was still prettily makeup free…oh! That's what looks so different: Her hair! Her chestnut colored hair had been all the same length and rested just below her shoulder blades without bangs or layers, and now it was layered stylishly, cute bangs framing her face. It was rather adorable and was definitely a change for the better. Olette was academically driven, all her classes Advance Placement, Dual Enrollment and Honors. Her grades are stellar and have been since first grade. She's only missed class if she was borderline comatose, is in National Honors Society as well as our school's Green Team Environment Club, Thespians group, and LGBT rights club. To top it all off, she has a 4.5 G.P.A (which is what happens when you Chuck Norris-ify straight As in all your classes), which she's maintained since sixth grade… she's clear in the running for valedictorian of the seniors next year. To top it off, she's constantly hanging out with us boys, I can't figure out how she does it.

Returning her smile, I joined her at the table, hugging her tightly before I went to sit on the stool to her right. I bumped fists with my friend Hayner, who sat on top of the table behind her. He hadn't changed, his crazy hair and clothes still the same. Pence hadn't undergone any noticeable metamorphosis either; he sat across from Olette, grinning cheerfully at me. "Hey guys," I greeted Hayner punched me lightly on the shoulder and Pence waved, sinking his teeth into an apple.

"Nice hair, 'lette," I commented, and she beamed proudly, pleased I had noticed. As one of her Green Team friends stopped by to chat, I glanced up at Hayner to find that he couldn't keep his eyes off her. Heh…I'd have to comment on that to him later. They'd make a cute if odd couple, but I was rooting for Pence and Olette to get together. The guy needed a break, and had confided in me that he was in love Olette almost a year ago. Hayner…for being such a dumbass, he's flirtatious, and his crush on Olette would probably pass as quickly as it had come. His love for her was platonic; his lust for her was no doubt spurred on by her haircut and large boobs. Hey, that's a man for you.

We chatted about our various winter break shenanigans until the first bell rang. That meant that we had ten minutes until we were tardy and doors closed. Annoyingly, my locker is close to the bus area and my homeroom class upstairs on the opposite side of the campus, a five minute walk from where I was now.

I managed to make my way to my locker without getting consumed by the huge crowd of kids and stood on tiptoe to reach my locker. It was always a top one, and the tall kids always, and I mean _always_, got the bottom ones. It wasn't even fair: juniors and seniors were supposed to get the full length lockers instead of the short ones all mashed together in a helpless, jumbled mess! I had to deal with it for two years dammit, why another? Stupid school officials and their mess-ups…

Grr. I reached into the dark depths of mymind for my locker combination and managed to open the rusty lock on the first try with only a few violent tugs. I tossed my messenger bag in the locker and got the books needed for my first three classes. Man, back to the grind. I tried to close my locker and the damn thing wouldn't budge. What the hell? I pushed the door as hard as I could and it groaned pathetically but only moved a centimeter. I stood up and slammed my heel into the thing, a shrieking sound my reward as it finally submit. Other students raised eyebrows at me as they walked past me to class, but seriously, the damn locker was made in the Stone Age and I deserved better. Besides, it's not like a few kicks and punches would make it look worse then it already did.

There were five minutes left until the bell rang and I was late for homeroom. I was slightly irritated from my locker fiasco and even more irritated by the fact that I might possibly be late for class—the time always seemed to go by much more quickly then it should when you didn't want it to, and vice versa. In autopilot, I quickly strolled across the hall and into the upperclassmen academic building, darting up stairs. Almost there…OOMPH!

Of course I just had to get knocked over. Whoop de freakin' do, what was going to happen next, a pop quiz on the book I forgot to read over break? …Actually, I'm not going to think about that one, as it's very well a possibility.

"Who the...?" I growled out in shock, startled as books and notebooks flew out of my arms. I stumbled forward, twisting at the last second so I landed on my butt rather then my knees, which would have hurt. It's not every day that you're knocked flat on your ass by the force of a semi.

The squeak of sneakers against linoleum told me that it obviously wasn't a truck and I sighed, closing my eyes in irritation for a lovely millisecond.

"Oops, sorry there, kid," A masculine voice called from above me. Its tone was a hybrid of mild amusement and apology, but above all, casual indifference. That pissed me off even more. "Didn't see ya there."

_Usually, when you knock someone over, you fucking help up and pick up their shit for them, jerk._

I swore under my breath. Kid? That name filed itself next to any derivative of "Short" in my Great Book of Irritations.

_I'm a junior and we're in high school, jerk, I'm not a five year old!_

I gathered my books, pushing off the ground. Kid? I'm not some freshmeat and I may be short but I'm not a child! I've always had a thing where when I'm pissed, I'll mentally brood on an ambiguous comment that could be insulting until I was _mad_. Not the healthiest thing to do, but you can shove your fucking opinion down your throat until I've dealt with this guy, please and thank you!

"Maybe keep your eyes off your Playgirl magazine and try looking around next time, assho...le?"

As I opened my eyes "Oh shit" decided to become my interjection of the day, the only thing I could think as I opened my eyes and discovered I was eye level with the thigh of my assailant. Looking up slowly, the face of the guy seemed a mile away. I should have looked before I let my irritation and temper get the better of me, I know. Especially since this guy could be psychotic and could have been a 400 pound, violent redneck called Bubba. Standing up quickly to get away from a potential foot in my face, I looked at his face and found acid green eyes, ruby red hair that was ridiculously spiked, and a angular face with two upside-down tear drops tattooed on his cheeks. Or maybe they'd been lamely drawn on with marker, but this guy didn't seem like the type to do stupid stuff like that. The other boy smirked, momentarily shocked expression quickly morphing into one I couldn't read, one highly shaped red eyebrow raising. He didn't seem angry, just a bit irritated at my own outburst.

And then a shit eating smirk spread on his face, wide and toothy. Infuriatingly so.

"Sorry 'princess', didn't mean to interrupt your PMS-time there. If you don't mind, I'll carry on with eye-raping the latest man-whore in my conveniently nonexistent porno mag here," He said, snickering.

I fumed. This guy made me want to punch his lights out! Sora would say I'm overreacting but I'd been teased so much during middle school and freshman year by the tall people that it was almost automatic to bear my fangs. I know I had no reason to bite, but hey, no one is perfect, so cut me some slack.

"Fuck you." I growled, giving him my most impressive death glare.

Firecrotch continued chuckling. "If you could reach." He sang his retort in a falsetto. The asshole retorted before shrugging, "Sorry about that, kiddo." Mister Asswipe shrugged a shoulder before walking past me to a room across the hall.

I sent a glare that would have made a basilisk cry for it's mommy in his direction once more before realizing that the bell should have rang a while ago...oh, shit! Gathering my things, I frantically stomped to the other end of the hallway and slid into my classroom just as the bell rang...just in time. My homeroom teacher simply gave me "The Look" before directing her attention to more pressing matters such as the attendance sheet, which I'm luckily not going to be marked as Tardy on.

I sighed, silently moving between rows of desks to sit in mine. Dumping my books on top of it, I fixed my binder and notebook, returning scattered papers to their rightful homes.

What a day this was going to be... it was already turning out to be a bad one.

_.oooooo._

This is the revised first chapter of my first fanfic in two years. As I said, the old chapters will be available to read on a different website for those who miss the old version, though I can't see why you'd want to read that crap. XD

**PLEASE REVIEW!** It makes my day.


	2. Chapter 2 Old

**Welcome to Chapter Two! I hope you enjoy it. *EDITED 2/17/10 for spelling/grammatical errors.**

**This is Axel's POV.**

**A note to an anonymous reviewer:**

**First of all, thank you. Your criticism is quite insightful (and thanks for the heads up for the typo!). I do realize the typical Roxas-gets-raped/molested-boohoohoo thing is quite common among the masses of Akuroku fiction out there. However, it is not just Roxas that has the awkward past, and you will see this as the plot is played out.**** I'm not trying to ''cover up'' or give reasoning to all the imperfections in my story, just trying to clear things up, I suppose. Hopefully the second chapter will give some insight on their snarky attitudes in chapter one. **

**Oh, and I do realize that Roxas is not the pathetic little uke that many fictions make him, and I have no intention on making him a pathetic little uke, as it would be unrealistic for the story. Obviously, as with in real life, a relationship with one person always bottoming is unrealistic and unhealthy. Calling Roxas an uke would be calling a bulldog a poodle, yet bulldogs do get their soft moments, same with poodles with the tough. So you're correct, I'm using 'Akuroku' generically. ****Finally, the comment about my author's note with the abuse thing-- I love happy endings, don't get me wrong, but I've been through some similar experiences and it irks and offends me when the victim is like "Omg don't -flinch- touch me please don't touch me -sob sob-" and then the next day is all "C'mere, baby! -eats face of the person who'd been touching them the day before-", you know? Not that Roxas wont get his happy ending :)  
**

**Thanks so much for the critique, you've made my day (seriously, when do people get in depth critiques anymore? That really meant alot.:) ) and helped me think about things just a little deeper. Thanks again, and I hope that you will continue to enjoy my story. ~Rayne**

**Disclaimer: I _obviously _don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy, and if you have any notion that I would, you need to get your head checked. It is claimed by Square Enix and the masterminds that invented the two wonderful series.**

**Rated 'M' for sexual activity in later chapters, and for language, violence, and abuse.**

******~*****~****  
**

"Yeaaaah, yeahhh..." Books under one arm, I walked toward room 207, and had a few seconds 'til the bell rang, but, I dunno, I don't really keep track of time. I had my eyes focused on Demyx, (''Axel, _try_ not to call Mr. Xemnas 'Mansex' _too _much and get a referral on your first day back, kay?") and a second later, I'd walked right into something very.... _light._ Looking down, I noticed a blond kid had fallen right on his ass and his books had tumbled everywhere. DAMN, he was short...his head seemed to go to my knees...Naw, maybe to my lower thighs. Nothing was _that_ tiny.

Well, hey kid, if you don't notice a six foot, three inch tall kid with _flaming red hair_, it's not my problem you fell over.

As I dusted off the front of my onyx hoody, I heard the kid swear and look up. Hey, don't give me that glare. I'm not in a good mood either... what's that? Playgirl? Wow, brush up on the insults. I retorted to his insults before stalking to class, two can play that game. But hey, at least I apologized! The kid flew to the back of my mind as I was enveloped in the insanity of pre-bell homeroom.

Homeroom with ole Strifey passed in a flash. Same with first period, second, and third.... now to fourth period. Who knew a game of hangman on the desk could be so interesting? Well... not exactly child-friendly hangman that was. You had to blame Marluxia on that one, the pervert.

I mean, I'm just a _darling_, honestly. Really! At least my conscience believes me.

At this moment I was having a wonderful dream about a can of Full Throttle, my teacher Vexen (also known as Mr. Stikuparse to my friends), his excessively oily hair that was probably the reason why we had an oil shortage here, and then a match... but that was illegal, and jail was a no-no.... damn. It's certiantly nice to dream, though. I really am a good kid, I can just be a bit playful at times.

"Mister Aposta(1), it would be _wonderful_ if you could grace the class with your awareness and _pay attention_ to today's lesson, if you please." the man snapped, before turning on a heel and continuing to write some equation on the board. Science... Chemistry. I love chem, really. Always had a fascination with exploding things and flame in general.... the resident firebug, or so Demyx dubbed me.

Today really just wasn't turning out to be one of my days. Sure, I've been all smiles today with Marly and the others, and sure, I was pretending to have great fun spelling out some obscene, perverted word in an idiotic game on a desk, but no. I'm not. I'm having a shit day and _trying _to convince myself that today is grand is _not_ working. I woke up with a crick in my neck, got _bitched_ at by my drunken mother for a good fifteen minutes before I managed to smoothly sneak out and get to my car, and oh, did I mention that a cute little squirrel decided to clear a tree's load of snow onto my carefully styled spikes? Nope. But it'd be okay, after a while. Just keep that smile.... just keep that face on... just like they tell you to do at _Destined_, Ax. Pose, and turn, and repeat.

Anyhoo.... five more minutes and I'm out of here... then lu- BRIIIIIIING. Loud and repetitive, the annoying scream of the fire alarm above the classroom door shocked me out of my reverie.

"Fire alarm everyone, please evacuate in an orderly fashion!" Professor Vexen sounded nervous, which meant it obviously wasn't planned if he was freaking out.

A fire alarm... great. At least they wouldn't try to pin it on me this time!

* * *

I stomped down the stairs and into the snow with my class, hightailing it out of the hallway and into the white expanse of snow to the area we were designated to go to. My class made it to the fence and a patch of blond attracted my peripheral vision. Hey, its mister PMS, whaddya know? Well, I can feel like shit and whine mentally like a bitch but there's really no reason to throw it on everyone. Well... that's unless you're Professor Xemnas or a hyperactive Demyx, which is a given. Hell, people are just fun to fuck around with sometimes...heh.

Blondie glanced at me before looking away awkwardly. Hm, maybe the kid was afraid of tall kids like me? Or maybe the runt was just bitchy... only way to find out. "Hey, sorry for bumpin' into ya like that. And don't worry, Playgirl is safely hidden," I smirked with a saucy wink.

He looked up at me without that scowl, but he wasn't looking very friendly nonetheless, and either ignored or was oblivious to the meaning behind that last comment. "It's no problem... I really should look where I'm going or something." He offered back quietly, adjusting the blue scarf around his neck gently.

I nodded, feeling compelled to adjust the green scarf around my neck myself. "I'm Axel Firaga... and if you're thinking the axle on a wheel you'll make me cry. A-x-e-l, got it memorized?" I tipped his head to the side with one of my infectious grins and the kid nodded slowly. "Roxas... just Roxas." He responded, offering a tiny smile as a response. It wiped off his face a few seconds after and we waited in silence until the ringing stopped.... I knew it would be a false alarm, there's nobody stupid enough to set a fire on the _first day back _to school. Hell, no one was stupid enough to try to burn down the place in general. It didn't matter if Xemnas was the teacher for only one team of students, _every_ single member of the student body knew to be wary of him.

We both trudged back to our classrooms separately, and my day turned out to be amazingly boring, although an incident with Xiggy and that freshman was pretty amusing... poor kid.

* * *

Gym with eccentric Ms. Rikku and 6th period came and went and Final Bell rang. Sighing with relief, I grabbed my books and was out one of the first out the door, our art teacher Yuna smiling at us softly, telling us to have a wonderful evening.

We have A block and B block scedules for electives, and that meant that tommorrow I had Graphic Design on the computers with Mr. Cheshire. Did I mention that that guy was a bit... odd? Well, not that most of the teachers here weren't nutters in some sense, after all, this _was _Myriad Worlds Preparatory; one of the best schools in the country or something like that. Therefore is was obvious the best teachers wouldn't all be careless or no-nonsense drill-sergeant-esque. Xemnas, though, was another matter. He was strict and harsh even to the extent of being cruel, and I think he's missing one too many screws. He had one of the highest IQ's in the country, though (which made math that much more painful to endure) and was teaching _children_, so he had to be doing _something_ right.

Attempting to shake the subzero freeze from my legs, I strolled over to my full sized locker and cheekily grinned at a huffy freshman I walked past who was a few inches shorter then me. He was struggling with a bottom locker, as freshmen and sophomores got half-sized lockers.

_What can I say? It comes with the territory..._

I slipped on my deliciously warm insulated floor-length leather jacket and stripped out of the warm hoodie. It wasn't a trench coat or or a cloak, more a combination of the two, but it wasn't very useful for wear inside a classroom. It was form fitting and showed off my tapered waist, which I was pretty proud of. It got me a job as a model at _Destined_, one of the biggest modeling industries here, and you should be proud of what you have anyways, right? I got to model all the hot fashions from the more... _unique _lines of clothing, and I _love _it. Hell to the fucking _yeah_.

Zipping up the jacket, I slung my backpack over a bony shoulder and slammed my locker shut, another flash of blond darting past me before slowing. "Er, hi," Blondie--_Roxas_ greeted after I gazed at him for a moment.

"Yo, blondie." I grinned, following him towards the bus port. He scowled slightly before rolling his eyes at the nickname. "I'm not some cartoon character," The blond quipped lightly, yet a small, grateful smile formed on his face. You were blond...short..._blond_...Blondie was a perfect pet name for him!

A flash of red and brown hurtled out of nowhere and flung itself on aforementioned blond. "Roxy!" It exclaimed in an excited voice, hugging the other. "Sora, gerroff me," Roxas grumbled. "And dooooooooon't call me Roxy!" The brunet seemed to finish Roxas' sentence with a grin. Looks like Roxas had a thing against nicknames.

I raised an eye brow and watched the exchange. "This is my twin brother, Sora," Roxas explained to me with a small flush on his face as he tried to fix his hair and clothes in halfhearted annoyance.

"Pleasure's mine, Sora," I smirked, Roxas' "ruffled-peacock" expression making me chuckle more.

Both boys had sky blue eyes, similar facial structure, height, and even hair, save for Sora's more spiked brown and Roxas' less so blond. The almost idiotic grin on Sora's face compared to the 'i'm-pissed-yet-amused-but-just-appearing-pissed' look on blondie's....on a first look you'd think they weren't related, and then once they'd told you they were twins, fraternal, but after listening to them talk and looking them over properly, I could just tell they were identical. They were so different yet the same.

"What grade are you in? Are you one of Roxas' friends? Ive never met you before, how'd ya meet 'im? Oh, and is your hair naturally that red?! What's you--"

Roxas nudged his brother. "Stop eating so much damn candy at lunch, So," he muttered, amused all the same. Sora gave a tiny pout but didn't seem hurt, hand patting a pocket on his pants with a smirk on his face.

"I'm in twelfth and I just met blondie here but I'm sure we'll be soul mates," I said cheekily and got another round of eye-rolling from the blond, who flushed again, "I have to dye my hair on occasion for my job but this is as close as it gets to my natural hair color, and my name is Axel, A-x-e-l, got it memorized? Oh, and you might want to get going, your bus is gonna leave without you," I directed the hyper brunet's attention to his transportation as he began to open his mouth again, and he immediately started tugging on Roxas' arm. Roxas flashed me a quick look of thanks for the not-so-subtle subject change and he curiously looked me over once more before chasing after his twin onto a bus.

Turning myself, I walked toward the senior car parking zone, and converged upon my ride.

My car, a very old crimson BMW Beamer (a.k.a. convertible), had cost 3500 munny and was my baby, with no AC and the occasional clutch jam included. She was reliable though, and was better then getting sweaty and spit in my hair on a torturous bus ride home. m3500 was fucking _cheap_ for a car as good as that--most used ones ran around 8,000 munny and a new car was an easy m20,000 down the drain.

Gas wasn't cheap this month, about 10 munny a gallon, give or take a few. Hell, it's _never_ cheap, and it ends up to a total of a bit more then 200 munny every two weeks, which was pretty pricey, considering that since I want water and electricity in my house and a cell phone with coverage and food for me, my paycheck was drained about 80% at the start of each month. I got paid pretty well too at _Destined_, about 500 munny twice a month, plus an average of 2000 munny for every moderate-to-major photo shoot, any money I could get, hey, I ain't complainin'!

So, seeing as paying for gas is like pulling my nails off one by one _slowly_, I usually drive for certain things only, save for special occasions, like not wanting to get my ass frozen. Got that memorized, Axie? _Special._

* * *

Work at _Destined _was uneventful. Vincent Valentine-- the heartbreaker model that looks like a fucking vampire, and I swear to God he is one-- and I got our measurements taken, and Marlene, the cutie intern who has a penchant for all things floral and reminds me of Marluxia so much (save for the perversion and manipulative tendencies) it was fucking _creepy_, made a small sound of displeasure in the back of her throat as she traced over a lump on my stomach. I looked down and noticed a slowly fading, rather small fist-sized bruise on my abdomen.

"Don't worry about that, Marlene, its just a bruise, I probably tripped or something, you know how us tall people are," I gave her one of my most winning smiles and she sighed, giving in with a soft, concerned one of her own. "Take care of yourself, Axel," She said gently and patted my elbow. She nodded and replaced her measuring tape and pad on her desk, smiling at her brother Denzel as he called her name, ready to pick her up from her job here. The poor man was getting over some rare illness that had plagued the town where he and Marlene used to live when they were children. A doctor had created the vaccine that eradicated it, but many of his friends and fellow residents had died. Thing was called Geostigma or something, and it sounded like it had hurt like a _bitch_.

"All done, you're the same size as usual, Axel." She told me, and I slipped on my shirt; it was slowly growing quite cold in here.

Giving her a one-armed hug as I grabbed my things, I made my escape and drove home.

* * *

My dear mother was home, and she was shitfaced as usual. She's an alchoholic, binging on the stuff 24/7. Want to know just how bad of an alcoholic she is? She swore that she'd be sober on my birthday, and I've been waiting for ten years now. She gets so drunk she spills bottles of beer all over herself because she thinks the _bottom_ of the bottle was the opening, and she often neglects to take showers for days at a time, living in foul-smelling clothes soaked in beer and vomit before she grows coherent enough to clean herself off.

Shaking my head, I tried to walk past the living room as quietly as possible and made something for both of us in the kitchen. The small, putrid smelling woman stumbled in, a bottle of Corona dangling loosely in her hand. I handed her a cup--plastic, mind you... I've learned my lesson on that one-- of milk, and she swallowed a bit before hurtling the thing across the kitchen and into the sink. Hn, looks like the man upstairs was on my side on this one, she didn't throw it at _me_ this time. Milk splattered the wall, window, and curtains as the cup ricocheted slightly and slammed into the sink.

"The mil' ees shour, you lahzy lille boy!" She slurred, yelling hoarsely and sounding like a dying cat as her mouth and mind failed to form actual words. _The milk is fine, maybe try not drinking two or three dozen beers a day and you'll have taste buds like regular people _I thought bitterly, tensing my stomach as she slapped me across it, aim good for one so inebriated.

Damn, I'm lucky that I'm so tall. 6'3 versus 5'3, the woman was on par with Roxas' height.

_Roxas...._

Mom stumbled back into her cave, also known as the den, and I quickly dashed upstairs, a ham sandwich in one hand and a coke in in the other.

_For someone I've never noticed before, he's pretty fascinating_, I pondered,_ looks like he has a bit of a spicy personality too... I like that. _

Chuckling to myself, I crawled onto my bed and laid on my stomach, sprawled out eagle-style before reaching into my bag for my homework.

Better now then later...

And for the first time, my dreams became plagued with a short kid with striking blue eyes and blond hair. A blond holding a weapon, fighting this gigantic behemoth of a man-like monster and I felt such longing and sadness towards him. Just like something out of one of my video games...

****~*****~****

**(1)Aposta= part of the word **_**Apostate, **_**derived from Greek origin. "One who has abandoned one's religious faith, a political party, one's principles, or a cause." Needless to say, it fits him perfectly. I also liked a definition which goes on to say that they abandon whatever, "**_For a friend_** or another matter."**

**So, what did you think about chapter two? I hope you liked it. I suppose that this will be switching POVs with every chapter (or every one and a while), mainly Axel and Roxas alternating; I'll note if its someone else but you should be able to tell that its either the blond or the redhead.**

**Please review, and favor if you like it. I crave reviews... :3**


	3. Chapter 3 Old

**Chapter Three: I'll Never Tell**

**I hope you enjoy! This one is a bit long. *EDIT 2/17/10, minor changes  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kindom Hearts. Moving on. **

**Note: I toyed with the POV in this one, as you can see. It still is in first person (save for the first part of this chapter, as you can see), but the POV will alternate between characters now. As more characters become introduced I'll begin using different POVs.**

****~*****~****

_Third-person POV_

Roxas was dreaming in bed, lost in a nightmare. Thrashing around violently, he groaned, sheets slowly strangling him as they wrapped around his body tighter with every erratic movement. "No!" He cried out loudly, shaking before clawing at the sheets tangled around him. "_No_!"

Sora, on the other hand, was happily lost in a world that involved ice cream, his best friends Riku and Kairi, dancing...._coconuts_... and a insane water park castle. He was laughing at dream-Riku's attire, which was a neon-pink speedo, and the dream-Riku wore it proudly, strutting around like a chocobo. Dream-Kairi had neon-green hair and was wearing a bunny suit. Even though it was a dream, naturally to Sora it seemed as real as the oxygen in the air. Dream-Sora skipped about, hopping across the backs of turtles before he heard a loud cry from Roxas. Whipping around, the brunet saw the dream Roxas cry for help, and suddenly, Sora was wrenched from his fantasy and back into reality.

"Rox?" Sora sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to the darkness of his room. He glanced at the alarm clock on his end-table.... 2:57 in the morning.

Yawning, he stumbled out of bed, nearly falling over twice as he tried to wake up. The sleepy brunet turned on his lamp and winced as the light glared at his eyes and heard thumping from the wall next to him.... Roxas' room. "Rox!" Worried, Sora ran over to his bedroom door, slipped out of his bedroom, and went to Roxas' room.

Sora scurried over to Roxas' set of oriental paper-lanterns that were strung across his window and turned them on, the soft glow lighting the room. He turned his attention to his twin, who was violently thrashing about. Sora bit his lip, sighing in endless worry. Roxas has had these nightmares before, but his twin would never tell Sora _why, _or _what_ they were about. Maybe they were caused because of their old step-father? But Roxas acted as if everything were okay! Sora knew he'd beaten Roxas before, and Roxas was quite open about that to him... Sora shook his head, wondering exactly _what_ was making his poor brother have such horrid dreams.

"Roxas.... Roooxas...." Sora tugged the sheets away from his brother, loosening their vice-grip on his lithe body. His brother swiped out and Sora dodged back, reacting from years of experience. "Roxas, its Sora! SORA! Your brother! Its just me its okay, Roxas!" He called out frantically to the blond, catching his wrists and tugging at them, trying to jolt Roxas out of the nightmare. His twin whimpered in his sleep, movements steadily less jerky. "Thats right, Roxy, its Sora... you're okay, you're safe..." Sora continued loudly, yet used a soothing tone. Roxas slowly stopped, chest heaving. Sora sighed in relief as his eyes slowly opened, electric blue blinking before widening. Roxas' chest heaved before his eyes locked onto Soras'. "Hey, Roxy...." Sora smiled at him, slowly down next to his twin as not to startle him. Roxas sat up, wrapping his arms around his brothers' middle, and buried his face in Sora's chest. He was safe now.

* * *

_Roxas' POV_

_Fuck fuck fuuck!_

I'm running through these impossibly large tunnels but he keeps on catching up to me... oh god...

'Rox-assss, you cant run for-eveeer," A sickly sweet singsong voice echoed behind me, and I swore again. He's catching up to me, he's going to hurt me.... Sora, where are you? Mom! Help me!

I ran into a room and suddenly the room became a kaleidoscope of my stepfather's grinning face, all saying the same thing.... "Rox-asssss, Daddy loooooves you but you've been a bad boy.... time for punishmeeeent!"

I scream and whipped around, and there he is. Millions of arms stretch out to me, clawing at me... _No! _Kicking and screaming blindly, I stop thinking as the ''fight'' of the flight or fight syndrome kicks in.

'"Roxas!"' The whole room shakes and I hear the voice of one million banshees.

'"ROXAS!"' The whole room tremors again and that bastard's demented laughter starts to fade.

'"That's right, Roxy, it's Sora... you're okay, you're safe!"' _Sora...?_ His voice calls to me, slowly wafting into the darkness, before growing steadily louder. Sora....

Reality hits me as I open my eyes and I take in a gasping breath.

Shuddering, I can't help myself.... I hug my brother tightly, arms wrapping around his stomach and bury my face in his chest, trying to calm myself down. I shut my eyes, trying to collect myself, but _his_ face is engraved in the darkness I see when I shut them, so I just left my eyes open, staring at Sora's stomach. It's comforting. I'll never admit it but I like it when Sora holds me... it feels nice... it makes me feel safe.

"Feeling better?" Sora whispered after a few silent moments only disturbed by my heavy breathing. I looked up and he smiled gently. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, not now. I laid back down, facing the wall. He rustled with my alarm clock, pressing buttons, and then I felt the weight on the bed shift, before I felt his chest press to my back, his arms wrapping around my torso as he pulled the covers over us both and snuggled into my neck. "Night," Sora murmured, already groggy, and we both fell asleep once time, however, I dreamnt of a really tall red head, by the name of Axel.

* * *

_Axel's POV_

_beep....beep....__**beep**__...__**beep**__...BEEP BEEP BEEP__**BEEPBEEPBEEPBEE--**_

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" I roared, slamming my hand down on the Snooze button. I fucking _hate_ alarm clocks! Groaning, I curled into my comforter, trying to fall back into lovely sleep, before it went off again. "Fucking A...." I slammed my hand down on the bedside table harder, but missed. And of _course_ my belt studded with those charming little pyramid-shaped spikes just _had_ to be in the spot my hand oh-so-violently hit...

I yelped. Well, I'm wide awake now... pain does that to ya. Sitting up, I examined the damage: Two rows of angry red square-shaped dents went across my palm and _God _did that hurt like a mother.

It was five forty-five in the morning, and I was taking the bus today. It came at six twenty... or was that six-ten? And of course, I had to be only twenty-five minutes away from school, yet was the third to be picked up out of over thirty kids and the third to be let off. I rolled my eyes, cursing buses and high school in general. Damn lucky middle-schoolers.... they got to go to school at _nine_. And, like most other middle-schoolers, I'd wanting to be in high school _so _badly.... Gah.

The sun wasn't even up, too. Dammit. What was the friggin School Board thinking? We get so much homework that it alone leaves us awake till eleven, and us teenagers stay up until god knows when, and then we have, oh, what, six hours of sleep? At least we get out at two.... but then the vicious cycle starts again. Ah well, only 6 months until summer, and then...PERMANENT FREEDOM!

I slowly made my way out of my fortress of warm comforters and hissed as my feet touched the battlefield of icy tile. Damn tile.... I dragged my rug over to where I sat with my big toe and walked across it to head to my dresser and full-sized mirror. Hey, I'm a model, not conceited, commit it to memory. Well... just a tad...maybe....

Running my hand through my impossibly tangled hair, I eyed myself in the mirror.

Hopefully today would be a better day.

And I got to see that little blond that plagued my dreams last night.... and maybe he wouldn't try to bite my head off this time.

What _was_ his problem, anyways?

* * *

_Roxas POV_

Mmm.... I snuggled closer to that absolutely _wonderful_ source of heat that was pressed up against my back. The source chuckled, giggling. "Wake up, silly head!" It coaxed, and I groaned.

"Now, Sora?" I whined, yawning. Sweet, wonderful sleep...

I felt fingers rub my bare shoulder and hair tickle my neck."Yes, noooow," Sora cooed soothingly, and he sat up and started rubbing circles into my back, which made waking up feel better. Much better. Moments of heaven passed, until the tentative...

"Roxas? What was your dream about?" It was softly spoken from his lips but it woke me up instantly.

_Oh, only our stepdad trying to molest me like he did in real life, what's new?_ I so badly wanted to just say that. Just _say_ that; _tell _someone.

I'll never tell.

"Just... I was getting hurt by these disgusting, mutilated things... they were ah, slowly... uh torturing me and it was really fucking scary." I made sure to add in a shudder. No point in lying if you can't make the story seem realistic, especially if you're lying to the person who shares your genes (Ugh..pun not _exactly_ intended).

Sora was silent for a moment before he touched my shoulder again. "Well, you should stop watching all those horror movies!" He tried to put a happy yet condescending tone into his voice but I could tell that he was disbelieving of my little tale. One of the troubles of being a twin.... they read right through you.

I sat up, yawning and stretching before feeling him get off my bed.

"School bus in forty five minutes!" he reminded, all the happy, obnoxious morning-person I've spent too many mornings to count dealing with, and I rolled my eyes, smiling a bit myself.

At least things are back to normal today.

* * *

I slipped off my pajama pants and boxers to find a lovely bruise on my ass. At that moment, Sora came in and he looked at it worriedly. "What happened?" he asked, voice momentarily muffled as he slipped on a brightly colored turtleneck sweater in a shade only Sora could pull off wearing.

"I hate damn tall people." Was my bitter reply. Granted, it was _both_ said tall person and my fault, but I couldnt help but add my dislike for tall people into my anger when he knocked me over. Well, the dislike isn't _entirely_ unfounded. I mean, the tall boys in middle school tried to pick on me for being..._ short._ Of course, after they got their asses beat, they never tried anything again, heh. Still...

Tall people had it so much better in life. They could reach the shit on the top shelf. If they couldn't, they could stand on their toes, which were attached to god damn monstrously huge feet. They got _seen_, and bumped _into _people, and not vice-versca. (Like you, Axel!) They weren't short, so they werent picked on for being so, too big and heavy to be thrown into dumpsters. They didn't have to friggen struggle to see a scene in a movie theater because they were sitting in front of short person and were taller then said person. They could--

"Aww, it was probably an accident," Sora said knowingly, pulling me out of my passionately hateful musing.

I pulled on a pair of boxers, then reached for another pair of skinny jeans, this time with boots on the outside. My converses and the bottoms of my jeans got _soaked_ yesterday. "Yeah, maybe it _was_," I punctuated every word with every jerk of my jeans up my waist, "but he. Was. Still. _Tall._"

Sora giggled and threw a checkered white-and-black scarf at me. "That Axel guy you mean? I liked him. He was nice. Kinda... loud, but nice."

Says the most obnoxious, loudest, person I know. I snorted, but considered it. Sora, though naive as fricking all get out, was a relatively good judge of character.

"Yeah." I laced up my boots. Fleece on the inside, good soles so I wouldn't slip and fall, and more importantly, they kept my feet _warm._ They also made me an inch taller, but that's a secret.

Sora disappeared back into his room and I heard him shout, "It's gonna be windy, so get something to cover your face unless you wanna look like a snowman before you get to school!"

_God forbid_.

I slipped some polarized sunglass-goggles around my neck and put on my warm hoodie again. All set.

Breakfast, then school. I hope it goes well.

* * *

_Axel_

I wish I was short. And fat. Of course I would absolutely _die_ if I really was short or fat, dear God, and no offense to the shorties out there, but in _this_ weather, it's _suicide_ being tall and thin. Because you get the _subzero_ negative one billion celcius temperature, combined with killer wind and snow, and yeah. You wanna be as close to the ground as possible, and have as much heat as you can have... But I guess I can't complain. In the summer, at least.

I crunched my way through the snow to the bus stop at the end of my glorious suburban neighborhood, and shivered in my jacket, waiting for the bus to come.

There were two weirdo kids huddled near the ground and a thorny bush and I don't_ want_ to _know_ what the _fuck _they were holding was, a dye-job blonde in some skin-thin jacket made for summer with a tank-top peaking out from under the jacket, and skinny jeans (and that's probably all she _was_ wearing, because with monster tits like those she didn't _need_ a bra, _they_ held the shirt) and of _course_ she was perfectly warm. Augh! Some _people_...... Hang on a sec. Didn't Zexion, Demyx... and Marluxia take this route?

I scanned around the white wonderland and saw blue and a whole lot of _black_ slowly converge to a spot nearby on the cement.

"Hey, Zex," I called out, and he grunted his reply, trying to become smaller in his sea of black. Zexion hated the cold too, but he didn't bitch about it. He didn't say much of anything, really. You could tell he was cold because he didn't have his book out and his face stuck in it.

Next came Demyx, who seemed actually subdued by the cold weather. He had a bottle filled with some liquid in his hand and some clear substance dribbled down his chin when he took a swig.

"_Tell_ me, _please_ tell me, that that isn't vodka, Demy..." I asked, eying the bottle suspiciously. Not that I wasn't one for a good drink, hey, but with the lineup of teachers _Demyx_ had, dear god, you'd better _hope_ you hadn't even taken NyQuil in the morning.

"Nah, hot water," He replied cheerily, and promptly went over to the lethargic Zexion, chatting him up. Hot water? Really now. Hot. Water. Why not hot cocoa? Coffee? But _water?_ "Marly's sick, by the way," He shot over to me.

Figures. He was probably hyperventilating over his precious plants. Freak.

Who misses school for _plants?_

Well, at least he gets to miss a day like_ this_...

* * *

_Roxas_

Didn't see mister inferno-hair this morning. At least I didn't get knocked over, which I couldn't complain about. Classes came and went and finally the Lunch Bell rang and I sluggishly made my way to the cafeteria. I may have off-lunch campus privileges this year but I'm going to be staying _inside_. You may think that because I have ice-blue eyes and blonde hair I'm some freeze-loving freak, I'm _not._ I like the chilly, and I like the snow, but not when it gets like _this_. Summertime is also lovely.

Ah. The wonderful world of the cafeteria.

The freshmen idiots were at their usual antics, the girls partaking in their cutthroat dramatic cliques and the boys up to their dumbass bullshit, and after that, _most_ of the people were behaving. Seifer eyed me with a small smirk on his face, but the cold seemed to have gotten to him, too. Most of the seniors and juniors were huddling together, trying to fend off the feeling of the cold. I bet the food would be frozen the minute the lunch lady ladled it out onto the Styrofoam lunch tray.

I slugged up to the line for a pizza and noticed Axel a few spots ahead of me, in front of two girls and one dude with a seriously _odd_ hairdo. Said boy was enthusiastically flirting with the girls, who were giggling like a bunch of idiots. Charmer, hn. Axel turned around to presumably say something to the sandy-hair blond, and then he caught sight of me, and he smiled cockily.

"Hey there, blondie," He greeted, and I rolled my eyes.

"Hi," I said back. He walked up to me and got in line in front, but I didn't mind. I was somewhat pleased to see him.

"Aren't you hungry?" I said, motioning toward the molasses-slow line.

Axel flashed a grin. "Food isn't not going anywhere this early into the lunch period," he waved it off, and I couldn't disagree with that logic. "So, gonna bitch me out today, Blondie? What was up with that yesterday, anyhow?" He asked, more seriously. I looked down. It was true, during the fire alarm we hadn't really discussed _why_ it happened.

"Sorry," I started. "Just wasn't in a good mood, and I have a bit of a uh... disliking towards tall ass people?" I flushed during the last bit, and he let out a roar of laughter.

"Seriously? Was that all? You made me think you were the kid I'd accidentally put a skunk into his locker 3 years ago...that wasn't you was it?" The redhead feigned a look horror and worry.

I snorted. He had a way of making a conversation lighter with a joke, I could tell all ready. Maybe he was alright.

"No, it wasn't me, but if I see him I'll put him your way," I retorted, and he grinned, then pouted a bit. "Aww, so kind of you Roxy...." he said sarcastically. I laughed a little, then the line surged forward again.

"So... uh, what grade are you in again?" I asked to keep conversation running. He was a relatively attentive listener, his bright sparkling viridian eyes locked onto mine, like he cared for what I had to say. It made me feel warm inside, but I'd never admit that...

Axel scuffed the linoleum with a steel toed boot and replied, "I'm in twelfth, got a good GPA... like a 3.5 or something, hard to believe, huh. What about you? Ninth?"

That remark rewarded him a nice kick to his shin and he winced.

"I'm in twelfth too, smart one," I growled, and he laughed. "And I have a 3.89 I think...I'm doing good this year." He nodded, but I could tell school didn't hold much interest for him. "So, Sora's in the same grade too huh?"

"Yeah," I nodded slowly. I had a feeling about where the conversation was headed towards as my stomach began to knot with unease, and I figured I should break the question first, why not?

"Who do you live with?"

* * *

_Axel_

_"Who do you live with?"_ The question had to come eventually...I tried to avoid stuff like this.

"My mom... she's.... not the best, y'know?" I was careful with what I said. Roxas' eyes flashed with sympathy, but it seemed to be the type of sympathy that came from the person who's experienced all life had to throw at you.. That provoked my curiosity, I admit, and fair is fair!

"What about yours, who do you live with?"

Roxas' eyes seemed to harden and he glanced down before looking back up at me. "I live with Sora. That's all. Don't know what's happened with my father and my mother is sick." It all came in an icy rush and I could tell that that part of the conversation was definitely over.

"Who is this cutie?! Is he your new boyfriend, Axel? OMG! You sure scored a good one this time!" The tense silence was broken quickly as Demyx decided to finally bring himself into Roxas' and I's conversation rather loudly. Roxas blushed beet red, scowled, and he rolled his eyes.

"He's not my boyfriend!" We both said defensively at the same time, and he blushed an even deeper scarlet in indignation and I smirked a bit. Demyx!

Demyx chortled. "Aw, lame man! But seriously... you'd both look cute together...I'm Demyx, btw." He smiled and offered Roxas' his hand, which the shortie took, still recovering from Demyx's outburst.

Text talk, Demy, _seriously? _I rolled my eyes and scuffed him playfully, which earned me a squeal and a puppy-dog glance, which, if used under the proper circumstances, would have me doing whatever he demanded. Damn blue eyes... They'll be the death of me. And Roxy had 'em too, I think... they were hard not to notice. Kinda cute.

"So, you're Roxas.....Roxas........H--"

"Yeah, that's my name, thanks." Roxas interrupted Demyx with with a frosty tone of voice, "And I don't have a last name." The atmosphere among us changed drastically and Demyx frowned. "What bites, man?" He asked softly, but then shook his head with a sad smile before grinning again.

"NEXT!" The lunch woman hollered and it jolted us out of our little world. We had slowly been converging to the front of the line and Demy motioned Roxas forward, who gazed at us a bit owlishly before heading toward the serving area.

I looked from the blond's retreating back to my hyper friend. "What was _that_ about, dude? He kinda acted like that when we'd talked about home life earlier."

Demyx shrugged his shoulders, winking at a girl as she giggled, walking by. "My chatterbox mom had a friend who was a love-to-gossip neighbor, and she was the neighbor of our little Roxas. It took me a few minutes to recognize him but he has to be the same kid." He leaned in, whispering a bit loudly, "She told me that Roxas' mom is in like a _home_ home, permanently, but that's all I know, dude, I swear. I wonder why he freaked out so much?"

I shrugged myself, but I was thinking furiously. His mom is in an asylum? What _is_ his story?

****~*****~****

**So, end of chapter 3! Sorry it took so long, I was hoping for more reviews :P**

**But oh well. Its long, ne? I bet you thought the first few paragraphs were odd, but maybe that gives a bit more insight to Roxas' story. Sora's was just random foolishness (his dream), hehe, I was planning on making it weirder but whatever.**

**Please review!**


	4. Let it Go, Old version

**Let It Go**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor obtain profit from writing this. I do not claim to own _Assassin's Creed II_ or _Bayonetta. _I mention something similar to these two amazing games in my story, as items that two characters purchase. However, the only thing that is similar to the real-life games are the title or similar design of the character, that is all.**

**Author's note: HEY GUYS. LONG TIME NO SEE. 8'D**

**I've decided to post a new chapter of When I Was Younger. Legasp, right? I'm sorry I haven't updated. I procrastinate like insane and have been very busy. This has been on the back of my mind and I've been prioritizing my other, more well-written and interesting (in my opinion, at least) story, Is My Prescription Ready? (Yeah, I'm my own worst critic. oTL) But I will be posting a new chapter of this, and I'm going to try my best. I have good ideas for this story. 3**

**I don't think it's going to be your average abuse school fics, because, for one, it's not going to be Roxas-and-Axel-fall-in-love-BOOM-problem-solved HAPPEE HAPPEE joy joy. They're separately going to face their demons, going to see different people, going to face more happiness and tragedy along the way, I'm going to make this as realistic as possible. I plan to make this around 20-30 chapters, maybe more.**

**God, sometimes I regret writing this in first person ; v ; I honestly think this is more well written and executed then the previous chapters. But I digress, and I hope you enjoy!**

******~*****~******

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ta—_

"Mind stopping that?" Sora asked. His voice was a bit irritated, but he tried to cover it up with a polite smile.

I snorted and nodded my head, bringing the pencil point down to my notebook paper instead. The hyperactive loudmouth asking ME to stop doing something irritating…? The world must be ending.

Letting my chin fall into my palm, I stared off into the distance, my eyes unfocused as I aimlessly doodled in the margin of my notebook paper.

Ever since lunch, I'd been thinking about the conversation between Axel, Demyx and I. How in the hell did Demyx know my surname?! My _old_ last name… I'd tried to distance myself from that name and everything involving that damned past for as long as I could. I'm NEVER associating with that name again, fuck that man, FUCK HI—

_CRACK._

"R-roxas!" Sora gasped, startled by the sudden sound. I blinked, dragged back into reality. My knuckles were white, my entire frame was shaking, and as I let go of the pencil and was shocked by how relaxed my body became…it was tense, drawn like a bow. A shaky breath escaped me as I stared at the pencil: it was broken in two near the sharpened end.

Sora got out of his chair and stood next to me, crouching as he took my right hand in his. "Roxas, a-are you okay?" The brunet asked, eyes wide as he gently uncurled my limp fingers. My palm and index finger was red where the wooden pencil had snapped but that was all the damage done. The innocent pencil lay limp on my notebook, and I breathed shakily again.

"Oh god, Sora, I'm so sorry…" My own eyes wide, I turned to my brother, our electric blue eyes meeting. His were worried, and mine were a bit shocked. "I didn't mean…"

My brother shook his head and drew me into a determined hug before letting go, holding me at arms length as he observed me.

The usually playful and teasing boy had a firm expression on his face and his blue eyes, for once, didn't seem to have laughter in them. He was dead serious. "That's _it_, Rox. You _can't_keep on hiding these things from me." Sora said, worriedly, "I'm your brother and I can tell something's been wrong… what's wrong?"

_Nothing's wrong, only that our ste—that _man_ abused me for what seems to be my entire life._

"I…" I took a deep breath and exhaled, avoiding his eyes and then closing mine. A bit of the truth wouldn't hurt. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about earlier….Demyx knew my last name, and it just made me so angry thinking about how that man forced us to take it as our own…"

Sora's face softened. My brother had a good heart, he just was a bit naïve sometimes. He was more intuitive then one would think…but I was his twin. I knew him inside out and knew myself enough to avoid his probing…most of the time.

"Oh, Rox…" Sora, ever so touchy feely, hugged me hard again and then smiled encouragingly. "But you're not under his name anymore… you've got a different one now…_we've_ got a different last name now." My brother said, voice soft yet intense. A peaceful look had appeared on his face and I felt it; I felt the serenity in my heart that he felt as he remembered that, in fact, we DID have different names then his…

"We're not Hartlords anymore." The name made me grit my teeth and look away sharply, but he said that sentence as if what he spoke of was dirt, and I was grateful for that. "We're Moirai(1). You're Roxas Moirai, and that will never change."

That's right…_Moirai…_Moirai, Moirai, Moirai, Moirai, Moirai…

"Moirai." I whispered, my hands finding their way to the table and clenched hard, as if I was going to fade away at any moment.

This was real. I was real.

"There is a destiny for all, there's always a way to alter what happens as we meet it." Sora spoke, sounding more like an ancient man rather then my brother of sixteen.

I nodded slowly. There was fate…but my past kept on haunting me. The past that gives me hell each waking moment of the day and night, that haunts me like a ghost with unfinished matters.

The past that I'm avoiding.

* * *

_Axel POV_

It's fucking _cold_. People that live in Christmastown, good for _you._ I happen to be a proud warmth-lover. Sorry, Santa, but I don't love ya that much. Besides, you should loose some weight there and work out your reindeer.

Juuust sayin'.

Reaching up to absentmindedly touch my hair, I realized that would be a bad idea. I couldn't feel a damn thing _with_ the thermal gloves on, so how would I feel my hair? I'd probably make myself look like…a porcupine. I do _not_ look like a porcupine!

I shivered, tugging my scarf higher on my face. I could just see the fabric below my eyes and my warm, fluffly headband was just above my eyebrows. My hair was warm enough to serve as a hat… Black _is_ the color that soaks up the most heat, right? You scientists _lied_.

"Axel, you look like one of those Bandit dudes from Agrabah. Or an inverted raccoon, your choice." Demyx stated importantly, and I snorted and felt my iced nose warm for a split second, then freeze right back up.

Damn bastard. He was wearing a baby blue fleece jacket and _jeans_. He had fluffy white earmuffs but they were around his neck like headphones. Mmm…earmuffs. How could he _stand_ this weather?!

I turned to look up at the videogame store that we were planning to go to. Demyx wanted some rhythm game that had to do with mermaids and singing and I was going for the newest _Conniving Assassin II_ game. _Conniving Assasin_ was about this guy who was in a tight ring of people and had to kill some of his own comrades to help out the person that his friends were against, for the dude's own personal reason. It sounded awesome, and I'd played _CA:Memoirs _when it came out. I can't fucking _wait!_A few all-nighters sounds wicke—

"AUGH!" That unmanly shriek of shock did _not_come from me. It was ABOUT to come from Demyx.

"What the hell!" I roared, spasming as I felt pure _cold_worm it's way up my shirt and saturate on my belly. I shook it out and pushed Demyx hard. "The hell, man?!"

Demyx roared with laughter, doubling over from doing it so hard. I scowled at him, eyes flashing fire as I reached down, picked up a massive load of the hellish white stuff and rubbed it all in the jerk's painstakingly styled 'do. I held tight, rubbing the snow hard until it mostly melted. Revenge is sweet, hair spray it, and is very cold.

"MY HAIR!" The mollet-haired man shrieked, bringing up his hands to shield his ruined hair. The high hairstyle flopped over his eyes and even curled out some, and looked more like the wrestler Lexaus's hair instead of a mullet-mohawk.

Waaaasn't very becoming of Demy.

"Y-y-y-you…!" A few girls walked by and giggled at him, and I couldn't help but crack a grin and chuckle at him as they walked by. He groaned and covered his face.

"It's called Karma," I quipped, wiping some snow off of my hands, "And it tends to hit you in the form of Axel." Demyx shook out his hair, looking like a wet dog, and frowned.

"I _noticed_," he pouted, trying to hold his hair up into some sort of style. It made me laugh, laugh harder then I had in a long time, and after a few moments, Demyx started to laugh too.

"You're such an ass," He chuckled, punching my shoulder halfheartedly as I handed him an extra scarf I had and let him dry his hair out with it. He slammed a hat he'd brought over his head and he didn't look too ridiculous, but I knew when we came back to my house he'd look like an electrocuted duck. Sniggering quietly, I entered the game store, Demyx trailing behind.

A man named Tron works at the video game place. He's fascinated with humanity and all that jazz, and is in college studying sociology—loves kids and people. However, his boss is the devil, and when we hang out at the game store Tron'd call him the MCP Boss—Multipule Crappy Personality Boss when he wasn't. Dunno exactly where he got that from, but Tron's a hilarious guy, even if he's a bit strange sometimes. He says that he has to watch what he says cause he's some sort of "Space Paranoid" freak—some video game reference, I guess—probably has cameras and bugs all over the store. It's just a video game store, too! Crazy dude, man. Crazy dude.

"Greetings, Axel, Demyx." Tron called with a cheerful wave. "Come to get your games today?"

Demyx squealed, nodding excitedly. "Hell _yes_we are!! Ohohoh, and like….whoa."

Laughing quietly at my friend's attention span (or lack thereof), I followed his gaze to the full-sized cutout of a sexy woman. She struck a seductive pose, hip jutted out with a hand placed on it. Her other hand was near her mouth and she held sharp, vicious looking blades in between her fingers, one brought to her mouth. The woman was in the process of licking it, darkly seductive and dangerous. Shocking violet eyes gazed out at us from lusciously thick eyelashes, and a dark, smirking pout painted crimson screamed "Walking sex." Wearing a tight leather bodysuit that hugged her curvaceous sides and busty chest, she had blades for heels and her shocking red hair was twisted into a bold hairstyle, two long bangs trailing down her oval face.

Lettering at the top of the cut out informed us that this was the latest game, "Savage Vixen—Not Even Your Prayers Will Save You from this Hellcat."

"_So _Larxene." Both Demyx and I said at the same time, in awe of the woman. It _so_was—the attitude of the character and her posture reminded us both of our sadistic "friend", Larxene. She's a sweet girl—but you have to watch your back. I keep my eye on her most of the time… She's truly one of those yandere types—Only appearing to be kind and innocent.

Tron watched us in curious amusement. "'So Larxene'?" He asked, cocking his head. "No, her name's not Larxene—good guess though. You wanna buy it? It's one thousand munny, but since you boys have enough creds you can buy it for one fifty. I bet you two will love it…Demyx, you'll love the soundtrack and how hip it is, and Axel, I'm sure you'll dig the fighting."

I looked at Demyx, and Demyx looked at me. A slow grin grew on both of our faces. "Hell _yes_." We'd have to hide this one from Larx.

* * *

After a few hours of hanging with Tron, Demyx and I went to my home. I felt apprehension with each growing minute…How would mom be today? Demyx got around to the back of the house and waited at the back door as we'd been doing for years, and I let myself in the front. "Mom, I'm home." I called, loosening my scarf and hanging it on the rack by the door. Silence.

I dunno why I even bother letting my mother know I'm home. She doesn't care, and she'd probably just yell at me as a greeting and slap me for a welcome home kiss. I guess it's just a habit. Probably a stupid one, but a habit it is. Like smoking, except this one will kill ya faster.

Walking past the living room entrance, I saw her slouched on our recliner, sprawled on her back like a turtle. Scoffing in disgust, I shook my head and stealthily made my way to the back door, unlocking it for Demyx. "She awake, man?" He mouthed, and I shook my head, jerking my thumb towards the stairs.

Once in the safety of my room, I locked the door behind us and Demyx started hopping up and down excitedly. "Homygawd-homigawd-homigawd-homigawd-homi_gawd_let's play let's play let's play!" The blond chirped excitedly, and I took out the shrinkwrapped game and stared at it for a moment.

Would _Savage Nymph_ be worth playing, more so then _Conniving Assassin II_?

_Conniving Assassin II._

_Savage Nymph._

_Conniving Assassin II._

_Savage Nymph._

_Conniving Assassin II._

_Savage Nymph or Demyx forcing me to play that godforsaken mermaid game because he didn't get his way._

_……_

_Savage Nymph._

"Lets do this." I chuckled, giving in mentally, and opened the package.

Let's play.

* * *

"This dinner is wonderful, Mom!" Sora chirped happily, digging into the mass of noodles that awaited him on his plate. Riku's mother, Mrs. Ardent(2), grinned, pleased. "I'm glad you think so, honey. Eat up! You too, Roxas. You're looking thin these days." The silver haired woman directed her attention to me, and I chuckled a bit awkwardly. God, if you only knew… It was true—I wasn't that hungry that often.

"It's because Sora's such a pig," I teased my brother and elbowed him. He laughed through his mouthful of food and swallowed hard, happy that I was joking around and not so angry like a few hours earlier.

Riku sat next to Sora and he watched us, chuckling quietly. The seventeen year old boy was an old soul, it seemed. His sea green eyes looked wise and calm, and although Riku was playful and aggressive and teasing and funny on the outside, he had that quiet insecurity on the inside. We both share a mutual respect and are friends, though I tend to keep my distance and let Sora be close to him.

Mrs. Ardent kept her graying hair proudly in a loose pony tail gathered high on her head, and her ghostlike waves seemed to have life of their own. Her sparkling green eyes were wise as well, but she was more playful then Riku. She was also athletic and tall, like her son and towered over both Sora and I.

She took a sip of her sparkling water and leaned forward a bit after winking at Riku slyly. "So, you boys been making good grades? I think a visit to Neverland would soon be in order, don't you?"

Seriously?!

Both Sora and my eyes widened and we both gasped in unison. "No _way_!! Are you serious?! We've _always _wanted to go there!" Sora breathed.

Neverland is the best damn place in the world, in my opinion. It was this GIGANTIC tropical island that pirates used to go to, and was part jungle, part gigantic pristine beach, part theme park, and whole, one hundred percent _fun_.

"And," Mrs. Ardent continued, wide smile on her face shared by both herself and Riku, "Both of you can bring a friend. Your spring break in Neverland...how's it sound, kiddos?"

Bring a friend, huh?

Sora nodded so hard it looked like his head was going to fall off, and he had a grin on his face that was so wide it looked like it hurt. "IT SOUNDS /AWESOME/!" He squealed, squirming a bit in his seat. I shared my twin's elation and had a grin on my face.

After a bit of childlike, innocent laugher on Sora's part, I looked up and saw all of them looking at me, happily, expectantly.

Wait...

Had they /planned/ this? Had Sora confided in Riku his worries about me, and Riku told his mother?

I directed my gaze toward my twin and he blinked innocently. Uh _huh._You'll get it later, Sora.

Well, either way, it would be fun...and something to take my mind off of things.

...I hope...

****~*****~****

**Did you enjoy?! I hope you did 8D! Please review, and thank you so much to my previous reviewers and my watchers and favorite-ers. You guys make me smile, and I really mean it. C:**

**Oh, and...**

**(1) Moirai - Means "Fate" or "Destiny". Greek goddesses of fate, who were the personifications of the unavoidable destiny of humans.**

**(2) Ardent - A synonym for loyalty. I used this for Riku as he was loyal to Sora and his heart, even in the darkness.**


	5. Valentine, Old Version

**When I Was Younger Chapter Five: Valentine's I was so proud of myself when I'd started this two weeks before Valentine's Day...I so thought I'd make it in time. LOL, that estimate was off by a long shot, Spring Break's almost over now! Well, here's chapter five of When I Was Younger. I've incorporated Sora into the story now, so he's going to have his own little first person segment in each (or so) chapter. Please forgive how crazy it's getting, I'm trying to find a pace and stick with it. I've been extremely busy but I am now in the school of my dreams for creative writing, so hopefully my work will improve further. Thanks for dealing with the long waits, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm trying to improve my writing so bear with me if you see any drastic style changes.**

** A/N 2:I'd began to write the parts with Sora in 3****rd**** person before I realized, oh wait, I'm writing this in first person. Duh. So I had to re-write it in Sora's perspective, which kind of sucked. I was on a roll! "orz I'm still satisfied with how it came out, though. I had to give it a bit of Sora's flavor and…well…just see for yourself and give me your opinion 'cause I'm still molding his voice, giving Sora a good character. Is it too "girly"? Too silly or hyperactive? Opinions please! **_Actually, your opinion on how I'm doing with all the characters would be lovely. **I also still have no beta editor.**_

**Yeah, I'm slightly modifying how Struggle is played to fit my world, but hey, it's my story. ;) Mireth and Rixel are original characters and are only appearing for a brief moment to progress part of the plot. I do not use original characters with big roles in my stories and if I do use OCs I try to keep them unnamed.**

**AND NAIVE SORA IS VERY NAIVE 8D**

**Disclaimer: I do not gain any monetary value from writing this. Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy belong to Square Enix.**

**Please enjoy!**

****~*****~****

The weeks after winter break had morphed into February and of course the rapidly approaching Valentine's Day was on many a student's mind at Myriad Prep.

Sora and his friend Kairi were planning a humongous and rather sappy Valentine's Day card for their friends at school-- complete with lace (at Kairi's demand), copious amounts of glitter (Sora's idea), and the rest of the trimmings, but Sora had no clue that Kairi had plans to secretly create a second handcrafted card for a certain someone herself. The sixteen year old boy was abrim with boundless energy during the week and his friends and acquaintances knew that they were going to need to have extra candy on hand during that fateful day because anyone who'd even heard of his name knew that Sora was a human vacuum cleaner when it came to matters such as candy.

Axel didn't have many plans for Valentine's Day, he never usually did, because he never saw Valentine's Day as a holiday. The redhead hadn't thought of doing anything until Demyx suggested that he go with him to Marluxia's house and have a "Screw Valentine's Day, Yay for Being Single" party after school on Friday. Both redheads seemed to share a mild, mutal aversion towards each other—Axel didn't like Marluxia's narcissistic personality and secretly thought that he'd be a better ophiologist then a botanist because of his subtly pronounced characteristics. However, both Axel and Marluxia could stand each other and were openly friendly—even when they were alone together; it was just that thing below the surface that irritated both.

The ever-lazy Demyx was in a last-minute panic as he found that, due to some thoughtless planning and careless actions, he'd wound up with three dates scheduled with three different girls—on the same day and at same time, give or take fifteen minutes. The blond whined in many a friend's ear about his dilemma, but all had just teasingly laughed at him and left him on his own.

And Roxas...

_

* * *

_

_Roxas POV_

I kinda still wish that high school was like elementary school, you know? In the sense of how everyone was friendly to everyone and Valentine's day was a school event, where kids traded Valentine's day cards and candy with EVERYONE…teachers would even make it an assignment, every child making sappy cards and little V-day candy mailboxes with construction paper, too much glitter and glue everywhere. God, I remember Sora when we were both seven. He decided to 'decorate his hair' and make it 'pretty'. Needless to say, _that_ little escapade took days to wash out. There's STILL random red glitter flecks hiding in his room...I swear.

Rolling over on my bed, I fumbled for my iPod and plugged the headphones right into my ears. Mnn..sweet music. I slipped my eyes closed after choosing a playlist, and the iPod declared that it was five-twenty six in the afternoon. Hm... I stood up and tucked my iPod safely into my back pocket and slipped my old tennis shoes on. Where is it...where is it... AHA! My struggle bat! Struggle and Blitzball were the two most popular sports ever. I tried blitzball but...eh. Wasn't my kinda sport. And Struggle's fun 'cuz you get to beat the crap out of other people with a bat and get away with it. It's a one-on-one sport: both players have a Struggle bat and they're either Red or Blue. Both sides get either 25, 50, or 100 (200 balls is for pro) balls and the balls start out in large containers behind both players. When one player gets hit, his container gets opened so a set amount of the balls come out. He can guard his balls or throw them back into the container, but his goal is to hit his opponent as much as possible so that they loose all of their balls, and then that player takes all of his opponent's color. It's a pretty fun game, if I have gotten knocked up a few times.

I stepped outside to the back yard and glanced up at that huge oak tree in the corner. It was vast...so vast that..._THUNK_. I ran and took a spinning swing at the tree and the thunk was satisfying to my ears...just right. Best part ever: The tree was so huge that the snow in the branches didn't even budge. Yay for good luck. I use the tree to practice my moves on....it's really useful for de-stressing. _THUNK, SWIP, THUNK, SWIP, WHAP, THUNSK. _I wiped sweat off my brow and panted lightly. Has it REALLY been this long since I've practiced Struggle? Hayner would totally kick my ass if I had a match with him...his tactic is that he tires people out, and then heads straight for the kill. He says his secret is that he's got a little sibling with boundless energy and hyperactive tendencies, but I've got Sora, so wouldn't that count for me?

Valentine's Day was in a few days....not that I'd be doing anything for it. Olette might do something, but Hayner definitely wouldn't. Man...it's been so long since I've hung with them...it's

been a while since I've done some of the fun things I like. I miss Struggle...the bat feels great in my hand and I--just--LOVE--hitting--with--it.

I practiced for hours, until the floodlights on the back porch came on and I heard Sora call for me. "Hey, Rox!" He called cheerfully, feet crunching against snow as he walked over to me. "Been practicing a while?" He asked, eyes sparkling.

I nodded, wiping sweat off my brow. I was hot and a mess and loving it. "Yeah," I grinned, "It's so great."

I took another thunk at the tree before one quick glimpse at a dashing animal up in the branc--"Oh, shit!" I yelped, darting back, but too late: The creature had shaken off a ton of snow! _FWOOMP. _...Oh...my...god. This did _not_ just happen. I spit out snow and locked eyes with Sora, who had frozen in shock, mouth making an 'o'. After a few seconds, he promptly started roaring in laughter and I followed suit. I can't believe this happened...all this snow...it was just too funny. Sora, however, was laughing TOO much.

"Here, you idiot," I smirked and grabbed a fistful of snow, holding him 'round the neck as I smeared snow all in his hair, a snow-noogie. He yelped before retaliating with snow to my face, that little bastard! Tackling him, I shoved snow in his jacket and we tumbled around on the floor. Oh, brother...

* * *

_Sora POV_

Today's V-day, I'm so excited! I'm wearing this white t-shirt with a huge crystal heart design on the upper right area and it is SO awesome. I love V-day! Kairi and I put the card in Ms. Lockhart's classroom. She's kinda scary...I'd never want to piss Ms. Lockhart off. But she's one of the most awesomest teachers in the WORLD. Everyone loved the candy and I got a ton back, too! I got two boxes of chocolates, and a ton of jellybeans and lollipops and chocolate kisses and those cute little heart candies with sayings on them, you now, and the pink ones taste like crap? Aw man, this is the BEST DAY EVER. So much candy...om nom nom! I left fourth with a pile of candy and my books, of course, and ooh--these shoes are really bouncy. I like bouncing around! I love how every period, I see new people, so more candy exchanges! It's so wonderful, I love it!

Hmm, locker time. "I don't need these books, so you can go heeere..." I said absentmindedly as I managed to replace my textbooks into the locker and take the ones I needed out...with one hand.

"You sure you've got enough room for all that candy?" One of the girls in my second period teased good-naturedly and I grinned at her and tossed her a sucker. She made a good point..I should go share with Riku. Kairi doesn't need candy...she's got plenty already. I have four minutes anyhoo, I'll make it. Riku's just on the other side of the hall...

I never saw just what happened to that mysterious card Kairi had been making. I wonder what she did with it? Maybe it was for her pops or some galpal or something. What I did see of it, it was sooo pretty. She really put effort into it! But she was so touchy about it when I tried to get another peek! Hm...maybe I will share some candy with her, too. After all, she DID give me her lollipops...and those were so yummy.

I'd decided to sneak up on Riku, his back facing me. It looks like he's talking to someone..."OOF!" A rushing Junior had accidentially knocked me over and I scrambled for my candy and when I'd recovered it all, I saw exactly who Riku was talking to.

Kairi.

And she was taking something out of her bag. I decided to wait and see, 'cause it looked pretty important. Her face looked so weird, though. Like she was giddy or nervous or something....it was the Valentine's Day card she'd worked so hard on. Is she showing it to him? No...

Kairi's Valentine was for… Riku?! What's Kairi doing…? Kairi was coy and twirled a strand of her hair between her fingers—why on earth was she doing that—as she scuffed the sole of her boot against the dirty linoleum floor and then rolled it back and forth as Riku took the card from her. W-T-F? Okay, my head can't take this. I know she was giving _someone _a Valentine but like….Why RIKU? Kai had told me it was for someone she liked...but RIKU? We're all best friends! And now Kairi's acting like he's one of her sexy actors...like she's completely smitten. Whoa...I'm just gonna get to class. This is pretty wild...

* * *

Axel's POV

"Dude, I can't believe you're still getting those." Demyx said, voice slightly muffled as he tugged his hoodie top over his hair more, cheek in his miserable hand.

"What, jealous?" I smirked, but to tell ya the truth, I didn't get why girls STILL gave me these. What am I going to do with a whole bunch of lace and glitter? Well, actually, it was a lot more then that. The home-made valentine was from "Anonymous" which was that brunette sitting in the front right desk. Don't you love how girls get together in a group and giggle loudly for about ten minutes, the one girl shaking her head furiously before nodding and making three of the girls swoop down on ya like vampires? Who would dare deny a gift then? That's how they do "anonymous". Anyhow. One card from that brunette…we'll call her Anon A. The next gift was a stuffed white, fluffy bear holding one of those faux velvet hearts that said "I Love You" on it….and this chick had the nerve to kiss the forehead of the bear in crimson lipstick….how classy. Anon C's gift was the most practical, in my opinion. It was a box of truffles, and they were the real expensive kind. Poor chick, because I'm so going to rape the chocolate but I'm never gonna to date her.

I slouched in my seat and glanced at Demyx. "Bet one of your girls would go crazy if you gave her the white bear," I murmured, and god, his expression! But it's totally his fault for making three dates in one day. Seriously, ONLY Demy…

He shot miserable snake-eyes in my direction. "Shut up!" The blond whimpered in exasperation, and I grinned. I can't help but antagonize him a bit. We had a sub today, and the guy was pretty chill. He let the class talk as long as we did some form of work and it was great.

I doodled a bit on my paper. I did my work already. See, I'm pretty great at talking and writing at the same time, believe it or not. And my stick figures: Totally rad. They make babies cry and old people feel 500 years younger…I swear.

_Vvvvzzzt. VVVVZZZT. Vvz-vvz-vvz-T! _My ass is viabrating! Reaching down, I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket and pulled it into my lap. Ooh, text message from Marly.

_Party 7, u still game? Come w/ D + chips + dip. Get the good 1s. B here after school._

Hm.

_Alrite. We'll b your pad asap._

I sent the text and flicked through my phone, humming something absentmindedly. Scrolling though my contacts, I saw people I hadn't contacted in years, people I'd say I'd get around to contacting and never did, and people I did talk to, like Demyx and my agent and the like. It went straight from Q to S. _Hm… Roxas._ I thought. I wonder how he was doing? I saw him early this morning. He's an interesting kid, if he's kinda quiet and sometimes standoffish. Hm, I definitely need his number. We should hang sometimes… my house is so out of the question. Mom…_ow_. Damn, just thinking about her makes me hurt. I rubbed at my hip. Yesterday….yesterday had been shitty. Mom'd been screaming about Dad, and how it had been my fault that he left. Hell…she got all worked up and hit me with her beer bottle so hard that the fucking thing broke on my hip bone. Let me tell you, that hurt like a bitch...I mean, I'm suprised it didn't break the bone...but it's not like the glass shattered into a million pieces. The neck broke in half and part of it stabbed me. Nothin' serious, but...god, she's such a bitch. And Dad...he's not that much better. Douchebag left me with her..but it's not like I can leave her to her own devices, right? That would be cruel of me. Welp, I've almost got enough saved up for a very small house, a good-sized apartment, or a very large exotic animal. So hopefully I can leave all that behind.

But seriously...Marlene is going to KILL ME DEAD when she sees that. I bandaged it up and poured that Potent Potion shit on it but I guess she'll have to take care of it so it won't scar. I'm the type that'll put some salve on it, bandage it, and forget about it 'till...well, forget about it unless it's starting to turn blue or red and pus-filled and all of that jazz. Models with scars aren't too appetizing to the industry, and hips are to be EXPOSED.... my belt rubs on the area, though, and it hurts. But when I forget about it, it doesn't...why don't I try that.

Demyx himself was furiously texting as the lunch bell rang for us. I walked behind him and peeked over his shoulder as he wrote. Ah...one of those girls of his. Heehee. As the class got up to head to the cafeteria, we walked together as he furiously texted, then promptly slumped against a wall and slammed his head against it, before yelping and holding the back of his head as expected. "Owwie!" He whimpered before pouting and groaning, head slumping down as he held his phone limply at his side. Poor guy...I walked over and rubbed his shoulder, stifling a grin.

"Aw, cheer up Dem'. It'll work out." I said soothingly to my friend as I patted him on the back. He looked up at me miserably and sighed dramatically. "Oh, why do I bother with women," He began, and sagged his head back. I snorted so hard at the face he made that it felt like I made my nose bleed. Damn, Dem. You totally brought the kicked puppy look to a new level....

He put a hand over his face and wiped it. "Mireth and Rixel both texted me at once....turns out that they were _friends_ and dated me at the same time on _purpose_, but of course I'm too stupid and thought I had it all under control... and Maria wanted to stay friends. All at once, dude. Ohmygod. Eff my life." The blond boy sighed and closed his phone.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Well, think of it this way: They all didn't have a cat fight, you're still unscathed, and the crisis was averted. Oh, and you've learned your lesson." I hummed. Demyx wasn't a player, he was just too...scatterbrained and nice. Not to mention he had that murderous puppy dog cute charm and charisma, and was an incredible flirt. "I love ya to death, Demy', but you are one stupid fuckin' retard." I said affectionately.

Demyx nodded, slight smile on his face. "Yeah, but I'm your stupid fuckin' retard, right?" He asked, and I ruffled up part of his hair.

"That you are, my boy, that you are."

* * *

Sora POV

"Well, Kairi's sure changed." I said nonchalantly as I fell in step with Riku, who had been waiting at my locker...what a nice dude. But seriously, Kairi had been bugging my mind ALL DAY. Like, what the heck? Riku turned his head and glanced down at me and his hand automatically reached for something in his backpack…I wonder what? "What do you mean, Sor'?" Riku asked in his even, soft voice.

I looked at the floor and thought long and hard, and Riku made an odd sound of amusement. I know, I know. It probably looked like I was giving the floor a good what-for look or like I was trying to make my head explode. How _has_ Kairi changed? "Ya know, she's so…she's so…" I rolled my eyes in exasperation and turned to Riku, who waited expectantly. "She's so _girly_!" I put my hands on my hips and nodded firmly. "Last year, she was more tough then, like, _Fuujin_ and she could totally put one of those meanie blitzball players in their place like THAT!" I clapped my hands together loudly for impact of those words and shivered at a memory of her being just that….snatching the ear of Tidus, a friend of ours who had decided to be a bit perverted to her in the ninth grade, and dragging him off at her mercy…scary woman.

Riku shrugged his shoulder himself as we walked along the sidewalk leading away from school. Ohmygosh I can't wait! Every year since the 7th grade when Riku and I decided that running home to see what valentines we got was uncool, Riku and I would go pig out on the best ice cream EVER…this year it's my treat! And then we'd go to the HoneyBee, which was the coolest place to play videogames in the world, even if the name was kinda lame. And the people that own it and live in the house above the place are SOOOOO cool!

The silver-haired boy adjusted his backback and looked up at the somewhat clouded sky and I did as well. It had _finally_ stopped giving snow, which was good. "Well, Sora," He began with a chuckle, "That just happens to girls sometimes." _Oh, right, Kairi._

"But she's so girly now! Perfume and lip stick and eyeshadow and mascara and nail polish and hair product and she's even buying _tanning lotion_ for summer! Riku, she's _never_ used tanning lotion before! She's always swam and played around with us and got a tan that way." I continued on my rant. "And did you know that there are like five-zillion brands of perfume and all that make-up stuff at the mall?" THERE WERE, no joke. She drags me shopping with her sometimes. I love going to the mall and don't mind helping her pick out outfits—cuz let me tell you, girls wear some cute outfits sometimes—but seriously, going into the makeup sections? That's a bit much!

Riku didn't nod his head or make noises or gasp in shock or do anything I expected him to do—he _roared_ in _laughter_. Chuckling uncontrollably, he put a hand on his knee to brace himself as he laughed loudly. "Oh, Sora, your face when you were going off on that," He grinned, "You're too much, kid." I raised an eyebrow and huffed. "Ri-ku!"

He straightened up and settled down…what was with him? "Yeah, I know, but girls, as I said, change. She's getting older and more mature and she's going to start doing things that she hasn't liked or bothered to do before, like find a boyfriend, or wear make-up, or tan….and I'm shocked you knew half of those words, Sor, you're going to turn into a girl if you keep on shopping with her," Riku teased and I punched his arm with a squawk (Whaaaaaat?! I am _not_ turning into a girl!), and then he brushed his silver hair out of his eyes and I thought of his words seriously. It was just plain weird. "She's going to start seeing guys as potential boyfriends and not just as friends anymore…I doubt she's going to be known as Kairi the Demon among the dudes anymore."

"Hmm…." That was a lot to think about. Can't things be simpler? "So…that's why she gave you that special valentine? When we were making that big one like we always do, I'd caught her making part of it. She hid it and blushed and said it was for someone special, and I didn't get it…yanno, like it would be for her pops or something."

I watched Riku's reaction and he put a hand on my shoulder and smiled slightly. "I was kinda shocked, Sor', but it's obvious she's got something going for me." His eyes took on a wily glint. Uh oh, somethng's coming. "Hm…you wanna be the best man at our wedding?"

_WAIT, WHAAAAAT?!_

Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what?! …I can't…what?! Roaring with laughter, Riku tore off towards the ice-cream shop. "What do you mean, _WEDDING_?!"

* * *

_Roxas POV_

_BZZRT. Bzzrt. BZZZRT BRRRZT BZZZRT._

...Hm? I haven't gotten a text in forever.

_OMG Rikus gtettnig maried 2 kiari!!! wtf Rox evry1s gone crazy!!_

What the hell, Sora? The text made me snort, and because he was mispelling more then usual it was obvious he was either extremely distracted, extremely upset, or extremely in shock.

I think it was the latter.

_He's not getting married 2 Kairi, you doof. Ure overreacting, it was just a joke._

Silly little Sora...Riku, you are such an ass, Sora would believe anything if you said it with a straight face. Mostly anything....hell, Wakka had him going for 3 days back when he was eight that the moon was made out of cheese. No lie. He's just that gullible most of the time.

_BZZZT_

_R u sur...he bettur not b, cuz that wuld b so WRONG!! brb, catchnig up wit riku._

They're all retards... Chuckling, I put my phone back in my hoodie pocket and closed my eyes. Bus rides were nice since you didn't have to drive, didn't have to buckle your seatbelt, could listen to your iPod or text or whatever, or sleep, and could just RIDE on the bus. It's a wonderful feeling, really. Just going with the flow...

For twenty minutes, at least.

Eh, I'll go home and watch one of those really cheesy old Chinese fighting movies...the ones that were made twenty years ago, with the bad English voice-over so it looked like they were just mouthing words. I _love_ those movies, they're hilariously fake and just great. Sora and Riku won't be home 'till around eight, anyways...and so I'd get me time. If Riku's mom calls me over, I _guess _I'll hang with her for a while, but...I like my solitude. People are okay, but I like being alone sometimes. Not all the time though..that type of loneliness isn't what I want.

_Ya u wur rite Rox. the jerk was just joking bout it. l8r._

* * *

_Axel POV_

"Here are your chips, your dip, aaaaaand a Demyx. Feel free to keep the latter." I said with an easy smirk on my face as I held out the grocery bag of munchies and jefked my head back to the shorter behind me. Marluxia had a hand on his hip and a raised eyebrow, but a smirk of amusement on his face none the less.

He flipped his hair back and _tsk-tsk'ed. _"It's sad that I have to tell you to be here after _school_ and you get here five minutes before seven." He took the bag of food and stepped out of the way to let us in.

"Maa, but that's what you love about us, Marly," I said cheekily and kicked off my shoes at the door. Demyx took off his shoes as well and gave Marluxia an one armed hug, and I meandered over to the couch. "Well, well, well, look what the cat drug in." More specifically, it was Saïx, a way, way, way, way, _way _old friend of mine, who wasn't really much of a friend anymore...he'd changed a LOT.

"What, you?" He retorted rather dryly and I raised an amused eyebrow. Ah, as stoic as ever...

"Ow, just shoot the comebacks where they hurt the most," I exclaimed and faked a grunt, to which he scoffed and flicked his eyes back to the television. "Aw, you know I'm so much more interesting then that crap on tv. You know, your brain's more active when you stare at a blank wall then when you're watching television~" I said, amused and poking fun.

Saïx shot snake eyes in my direction before looking away. "Well, it's obvious what you've been doing for the fifteen and some odd years. I'm not watching television, it's just on the screen. Why don't you be useful for once and help out Xigbar out back or something?" He continued on, and I rolled my eyes and, oh, why the hell not? I ruffled up his hair. Yeah, I did it. I went there, touched the great Saïx's mane of electric blue hair. I also took his advice and split.

Xigbar WAS outside, on Marluxia's somewhat small back 'porch', with his grill. He flipped burgers while a girl wearing a black hoodie laughed. Her laugh sounded like...all things happy and innocent, and made me want to smile. "Hey, firecracker! Nice to see you've joined the group," He said jovially in his rough voice. The girl had stopped laughing and shyly watched me from her perch on the wooden railing near Xigbar. "Poppet, don't get quiet, now!"

"Wow, Xiggy," I put my hands in my pockets, "A new nickname every time, huh?" The burgers he's cooking smell so fucking good, I'd devour them in a heartbeat. But I had to be good. Bleh.

The tall, massive man grinned and turned to me. I always wonder what his eye-patch would look like the next time I see him, because he changes it like, well, a fashion model changes clothes. Some of the designs have been HILARIOUS, and this time...the eye patch was fuzzy pink with rhinetones dotting the border of the patch, and a pink heart right in the middle to complete the look. Classy. "Yeah, I'm good at those, ain't I." Xigbar chuckled, "Axel, this is Xion. Xion, Xemnas teaches Axel at Myraid." The girl's eyes flashed with recognition at the name and she smiled at me gently. So _shy_.

"Xemnas is my new foster father," She began softly, "I'm actually going to transfer to Myraid in a month or so..." The raven-haired girl trailed off. FFFFFFT, XEMNAS wanted KIDS?!

I sniggered. "Whoa, never knew Xemnas had the sanity to deal with more kids then us brats at school," It's so true. "He's a pretty good guy, ey? He's just kinda...holier-then-thou, so to speak." Xion actally laughed a bit at that. Okay, maybe it wasn't the best to insult your new acquaintance's new stepdad, but seriously, he's just too good to pass up.

Xion was a small thing, maybe the same height as...Roxas, and she was so skinny I bet I could toss her a mile in the air. She looked like she was thirteen, but she had to be at least sixteen. She had a soft face with this peculiar yet beautiful color of sharp blue eye, and her hair hung slightly in her eyes...she gave me this image of a shy little thing, but with how she was laughing with Xigbar earlier, she obviously opened up after a while. Maybe Roxas was like that. Now that he thought about it, she was like the gentle, polite version of Roxas. Huh. She was obviously with Xigbar, who was, by some odd way of the universe, related to Xenmas. Yeah, I could totally see Xiggy with the Malibu Barbie tan. Heh. Heh-eh, I'd just need some of that fake tan spray and a sleep over....

Xigbar opened up the grill again, and started piling a platter high with hamburgers. "C'mon kids, you'll have tons of time to get to know each other....but if you're sane, you ain't stayin' outside in THIS chill. 'Sides, there are more people comin' and they're gonna wanna know where we're at." The tall man opened the back door and ushered us in with his platter-burdened hand. "The party's just gettin' started."

****~*****~****

**Well, how did you like this chapter? I know things are crazy, but I seriously have some good plot ideas. Was it funny? I kinda like how I portrayed Kairi in this, aka her sudden personality change in the games: In KH1 she was an epical tomboy who'd race Sora and Riku and in FF2 all of a sudden she's a little dainty thing. Do you like how I brought in Xion? I'm going to bring her in much, much later. But, yeah.**

**Please leave a review. They really do inspire me to write and make me consider twice and persuade my lazy ass to write. Alerts and Favorites are so amazing as well, but there's nothing like a good review. I hope you all enjoyed!**


	6. Important, old version

**REVISED CHAPTER 1 IS UP!**

**"HOW ABOUT A NICE CUP OF STFU"**

Hey everyone.

I'm in the process of revising this fanfic, and the first chapter is now up. Sorry for the email promising a chapter six, there is none, that was the revised first chapter. So go read it!

Please read it and enjoy, and give your opinion: Which one did you like better, the old or the new? As I promised, I will upload all the old chapters to a different website for your viewing pleasure, as some of you wanted to read them still, but I'm sure you'll like this new version better.


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